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The Beginning of Life as I Know it
Part #4: Summer Blues
Oh, God. It's summer again. Great. Whoopdee doopdee doo! I hate summer, and I'm pretty damn sure it hates me. It's the worst, most boring time of the year. I never go anywhere. I always just stay at home and wallow in my misery and boredom. I sweat buckets during the summer, so I have to wear shorts, which I hate. Jeans are always the best for me, 'cause then no one can see how fat I am. Okay, maybe I'm not that fat, but still. I have self-esteem issues.
But summer also inspires me. It gives me great ideas for poetry, songs, and stories. I always love to sit in my backyard and dangle my feet in the pond, reading a good book, or with a notebook and pen in my hands, writing my heart out. I would sit outside for hours, the heat beating down on my back, but I'd barely notice. Summer can drive me insane, but I love that feeling. I love it when I'm about to crack. The stress and the pressure is different from when I'm at school. During the summer, the stress comes from not being stressed. Does that make sense? Whatever.
Summer is the time when I get some of my best work done. It's the time when I dream about dieing (something I absolutely love). I dream about still being in school. God, those dreams are pretty funny. I'm running through the halls, when this psychopath teacher comes and kills us all. Then, right when I'm about to die, something amazing happens, and I wake up with the hugest smile on my face. Funny, I can never remember exactly what happens that makes me smile.
I never get those kinds of dreams during school. But summer is also when I have my worst nightmares. Dieing. Although I love the dreams in which I die, I also find them cold and cruel. But they give me great things to write about. Like this, for example:
I'm a psychopath,
And I'm going insane.
No one knows,
What's going on in my brain.
No one knows,
How I think.
No one knows,
When I'm on the brink.
Sometimes I live forever,
Sometimes I'm dieing.
Sometimes I wear a smile,
But on the inside I'm crying.
'Cause I'm a
Psychopath,
And all you normies,
Kiss my a**.
I don't know what it is about summer, but it brings out the best and the worst in me. Maybe the reason why I hate it so much is because I have no one to share it with. My friends are always busy and going places, when I'm stuck here, waisting my time writing this nonsense and daydreaming. Maybe the god or goddess of summer has it in for me. Hehe. Anyways, alls I know is that God seems to like making fun of me, and He apparently thinks that summer is the best time to do so.
Summer's when my birthday is. July 11th. Send me presents and hugs. mrgreen
 Broken_Soul_Torn_Mind · Thu Jul 05, 2007 @ 11:37pm · 0 Comments |
