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So. What's up.
I'm really crappy right now >>
So...You see, my birthday is on the 24th of Feb, and I swear on my life, by the time it rolls around, the waiting is going to kill me! Split me in pieces I tells ya! lol...
And every freaking day I'm checking 20 websites to see if My Chem has booked a place in my town yet.
Damn procrastinators!!! xD
So...back to the crappiness....
Idk... isn't it like life doesn't have a real purpose? (don't worry, this isn't my suicide note...^^)
I mean, I've seen so many people get killed, and hear about so many deaths, and you think, why?
a 9th grader died right next to my school...it's crazy s**t going out in the world, and nothing good is ever going to come out of it.
And here I am, just going to school every day, doing the exact same thing, eating the same lunch and breakfast, seeing the same people, and then going home only to be isolated from the rest of the world.
Where's the motivation?
I mean...there has to be some sort of an outcome.
Then people in my life act like it's nothing, doing whatever the hell they want whenever they want, not thinking of the consequences.
Come on, you have to think to yourself, "Do they even realize how many people they've hurt?"
Going out, putting on this fake persona, and having everyone accept it is irritating the hell out of me too.
I mean...Somedays i just want to scream!
Sitting through boring lectures on glaciers...then moving on to lunch to sit with a bunch of people you have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IN COMMON WITH sucks.
Sure. You'd look at me and say, "oh, she's that precious, sweet, kind, loving, Straight-A student who never steps out of line!"
I hate it! I'm nothing like that. Sure, I get straight A's so I guess that makes me a total outcast from everyone else, including my friends, into thinking that I'm some sort of...preppy....Hollister wearing......Freak!
But i'm not.
And people won't realize it
I feel like I'm seriously breaking down a little more each day.
I'd kill to be what I'm really like on the inside, and just have a conversation with someone that cared about me, shared the same interests....
Don't get me wrong, I'm not some suicidal, depressed victim of the color black, (no offense, I love the color black...but...lol you know) that hates everything her life and thinks everyone's out to get her.
I just hate....what people make you become.
And this all came out of a good former friend of mine being a deceitful little b***h.
lol.....
And now everyone she's brainwashed is against me, and thinks i'm the bad guy in this situation!
Anyways.....I think people shouldn't be tempted or persuaded into being something they're not, like moi.
Sure, I would love to dye my hair black, cover my eyes in eyeliner, and go into school boldly (and proudly razz ) wearing every single freaking MCR t-shirt I own every day.
But no one believes me
One of these days, I'm gonna do it, you just watch! muhahaha!
twisted lol
My mom DID say I could dye my hair. (So don't be surprised Jamie when I come into school looking like a total freak lol)
And my personality
(god, i'm bitchy tonight, aren't I? lol)
I like to be funny, and make people laugh, but damn, all you people annoy the hell out of me! xD
(with the exception of the cool people here on Gaia...)
It's like...I'm the white ball in the box of black ones.
It's obvious that I probably shouldn't nor can't hang out with these people.
Do you have any idea what it's like hanging out every single day with people
A: that you don't even like half of
B:that you can't talk to about anything with
C: or that you feel just like walking away from?
Boy, ain't life grand? rolleyes
"I'm taking back the life you stole"
-It's not a Fashion Statement, It's a ******** Deathwish
 Somber_isis_Queen · Sun Feb 17, 2008 @ 08:22am · 1 Comments |
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