My thoughts haunt me. Not one moment is a pleasent one now. I feel more sick than I've ever been. I haven't been able to sleep. When I do sleep, however, it's you that I dream about.
I feel like a criminal, like a theif. I took so much with nothing given in return. Want to change, sure, but will I? Do people really change personallity wise just by themselves? This is what keeps me confused. What keeps me plagued by my thoughts and feelings.
That's what I am; what I'm like. Most of it I was honestly unaware of. It came as a huge realization to me. My thoughts ran wild and I made a decision, one that I thought wouldn't be so selfish. I did what I thought was right. I'm so confused. I feel like everything that I do is wrong. If I must live life without what I consider to be my life then so be it. I wish this wasn't the closest thing I could get to change. Sometimes what's done is done. Maybe I'm too late. Thinking of it now, my decision comes off as selfish. What if people really don't change?
I doubt any one will see this. At least, anyone I'd want to have see this. If what this has been really is true then maybe you will see this. Maybe you still do care. Even if it doesn't seem like it. Writing this has lit a candle inside me that I can only hope will become a fire.
I'm sorry for all I have done, I swear all of my actions have been with good intention. Sometimes I can be so oblivious. I'm an idiot.
 Alpharhythm · Sat Jul 12, 2008 @ 08:32am · 1 Comments |
