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Journal of Secrets: Chapter 3 Getting carried away. lol |
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Chapter 3
Debating The Impossible
Another headache.
Jinx wasn’t following me. That was a good sign, or bad, whatever meant that my birthday had started off bitter. I sighed as I waited for the recent headache to wear off, and the images to stop flashing under my eyelids whenever I blinked.
There was a young girl, again the age of sixteen, who looked ready to just die whenever it came. Her blue eyes seemed to be farther away every new minute that past, except when an old lady came into my vision and processed feelings into the girl. I didn’t know what they were saying, but the house seemed too old for the time that the two women were placed in.
The room was shrouded with ancient antiques, walls covered from wooden floor to wooden ceilings were covered in ancient pictures. The walls were painted a faint green and the floors resembled wood itself. Mahogany? The kitchen was tiny and painted white with one lone kitchen table, a counter with a coffee machine and a refrigerator. The cabinets were mahogany as well, and they were larger than the fridge. I was surprised that they could stand up in air like that.
The chestnut colored sixteen year old was very fluent in her movements and the way her emotions came to her. The old lady looked very much older than ninety five. This was very different. And it intrigued me immensely.
I waited for the light to turn red so that I could cross the street to U of Indiana. My foot tapped frequently on the asphalt, and I felt about ready to scream.
The light stayed green, and cars passed frequently, blurring in my vision as the headache finally began to wear off, and I felt extremely dizzy. The light finally turned red, and as I took a step, I fell backwards and fell onto my butt, and I gasped as the air rushed out of my mouth.
I put my head between my legs, and closed my eyes, and as I waited for the red to penetrate my eyes, I saw her again.
I screamed, and felt tears fall down my cheeks. I clenched my jaw trying to force back the tears, when I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I had realized that the sun was being blocked by someone.
I looked up, half expecting to see Jinx, but instead I saw James.
His brown eyes carried fear and worry, as the wind ruffled his golden locks. His tall frame kept the sun from steering into my eyes, but because he was so very skinny, I still had to squint up to see him completely. He was dressed in his white polo, wearing a pair of skinny jeans, and listening to his iPod.
I suddenly envied him. He was adorable.
He bent down next to me, and looked at me, through the tears. “Lexie?”
“Oh, hi, James.” I croaked.
“What’s the matter? I heard you scream and ran over here.” James said, taking my free hand that was clutched into a fist. He held it like I was a breakable porcelain doll.
“Nothing. I saw her again.” I shrugged it off although it still occupied my vision.
“This paranormal stuff is tricky, Lexie. But I don’t think that the paranormal would show you so… vividly, as you say.” James said, stroking his stubble of a mustache.
“She’s so beautiful. Strikingly so,” I began, not heeding his words. “Sometimes she’s so beautiful it takes my breath away, it’s like she’s meant to live forever…Not die…” I looked up and than stood up, so that I was taller than James. He was going to give me answers now.
“Why is she haunting me?” I demanded through clenched teeth.
James looked at me incredulously. He stuttered as if I was someone different. “She…she may be haunting you because you resemble her a little. I don’t know. Lexie, are you okay?”
“Resemble her?” I snapped, and then took a long breath and exhaled it slowly into words, “I’m fine. See you later,” I growled and then clenched my fists and snatched my hand back that he had been holding. I felt my cheeks flush, but I ignored it.
I looked ahead of me, noting that the light was green, and walked across the asphalt and watched as eyes flicker to me like I was shining in the sunlight or something. I closed my eyes and found my feet hit a higher surface and took it thankfully, and used the sidewalk to get me to college faster.
There was a lot to go through. I had just started getting the imaginings and headaches about two weeks ago, but last night’s dream was far from being ambiguous. Now it seemed as if it was… a phenomenon. It was endless… It was the same dream every night with the same exact girl begging for her life. The same exact man taking the life away from her. Although the girl seemed to want to commit suicide so that the malevolence man couldn’t take it away from her, as she seemed to want to leave the earth with some dignity.
Her eyes always sparkled the same amount, she always bled the same amount, always wrote the same thing in one notebook that seemed ruffled from years of use.
And then she threw the journal over the edge with a bitter laugh… A bitter smile and then a purse of her lips. She was ready to die and this scared me a little bit. Her cold blue eyes never relaxed to look around her or find a place for her journal. She just simply threw it over the edge, like it was nothing but a dead body. But it was a dead body of secrets.
It was suicide to think of it like that but it was so. So true.
I stopped dead in my tracks when I reached my normal route to the university. Usually when I passed this part in my route, it was just another pretty scenery that held absolutely no importance at all. Now it was a place for headaches and hallucinations and deadly dreams. A place where two hundred murders took place per year. A place where I have completely lost my mind and where Meagan stood as she threw her journal over the ledge to save her secrets and her life, or to at least to buy her some time before dying.
It was Horror Hill or Hill Top in 1849. I stared at it, looking over every bush and the one tree that stood out where the sun had just the amount of energy to look over the dead branches of the 170-year-old tree that supposedly served as Charlie Singer’s final resting place.
I scowled in disgust over my own thoughts. I didn’t ever believe in the paranormal or the Singer vicious and violent murders. Never, did I think that I would even stand here, on the perch of the mountain, and wonder about Meagan or Charlie or anything else that seemed impossible to me way before these dreams.
I turned my back on the mountain and marched up the route and past the thoughts.
††††††††††
Debate dragged on for what seemed forever, and I couldn’t stop staring at the clock. Usually I enjoyed college courses. Especially anything on debate, but today it wouldn’t come to an end, which meant that Mrs. James would volunteer me to do it with someone that I most likely would regret. I took a silent breath of air as I listened to the girls, Jessica and Linda, debate on the president nominees this year. They were Barrack Obama and James McCain. They debated on the president’s means for “change” and their ideas on pulling the Iraqi troops out of Baghdad.
I agreed with Jessica. We should nominate Barrack Obama because he had the most promising changes and means for the country. But once again, I spaced, and they became a dull buzz in the back of my mind, until I heard the sound of the buzzer meaning that their time was up, and Mrs. James would call someone else up who didn’t seem quite ready to debate which meant that they didn’t study. If I wasn’t the first one to be called on, then this would be cake. I knew it because I always study, and I always pick the correct things to debate on. As long as I could debate on the theory of the Big Bang Theory then I would surely win.
Of course, my logic was incorrect. “Ms. Lexie Killington, why don’t you join Mr. Alex up on the podium to debate on this theory: The Singer Murders?” I felt a groan come up my throat. I saw Alex Panacea stand up and walk up to the podium confidently.
I sulked to the second plinth. Mrs. James smiled that crinkly smile as her brown eyes shone with mock. She knew my weakness…
Alex began the debate. Never a good sign, when your partner started before you.
“Lexie Killington, I have heard that you do not agree with these murders?” Alex asked, looking handsome in that smile and tuxedo. I cringed. Did I just think that Alex was handsome? EW. “No, I do not believe in these heinous murders. May I go on to explain why I do not appreciate this myth?” I asked, putting on a wicked smile. He nodded politely. Ugh. Still adorable. Maybe I should’ve stayed with Jinx for some sex…
“Okay, thank you,” I began. “These murders, ladies and gentlemen, were committed in the late 1840’s. During the time of a category 5 hurricane Linda, it is said that a young Ms. Meagan Singer, age sixteen, waltzed up unto High Top Hill and wrote in a journal. Now, ladies and gents, if you were sixteen again, would you begin writing on a hill just because it was glorious?” I didn’t wait for an answer to my rhetorical question. “No, you wouldn’t. You might write it under your covers in the safety of your own home. Not on the hill of death. No sixteen year old I know is that bleak and morbid as Meagan is explained to be.” I folded my hands, waiting for Alex’s reply. I had gotten a couple nods and mhmms with my question. Good. Already in my palms.
Alex chimed in. “Ladies and gents, in my defense, my friend here, Lexie Killington, is wrong. Meagan Anne Singer was as dark as her life seemed to her. Her family misunderstood her, her brother, as inhuman as a murderer might be, was ‘incompetent’ to her. Ignorant and he never understood her as no one ever understood Meagan. Her family completely over looked her existence—“Now the debate was on.
“Excuse me? Are you saying that Meagan’s parents never loved her nor her brother and that was why she walked up to the hill to her death?! That there is conspiracy! Why would any girl do that? See, this is what I am talking about. Every parent loves their child. Even siblings deep down inside. And your logic,” I barked a laugh, “makes no sense at all. Meagan Anne—“
“Meagan Anne Singer was overlooked in life because she felt her existence was pathetic! The only way she could really be herself was if she was away from the family. And that meant being by herself, yards away from the house where the other Singer’s slept at night. She wanted to be someone without history, and the only way was to write in a journal! A journal where she—“
“See there you make the mistake, my friend.” This was getting good. Now the students in our class were moving their heads each time we had an argument. My fist and his fist came down several times on the stands. His brown eyes kept surging with fire and they turned from brown to topaz within seconds. I could feel my own eyes burning with excitement. Mrs. James even seemed consumed in our conversation.
“What do you mean?” Alex asked in disbelief. Now he was in my clutches.
“The journal was never found,” I said, venom poisoning my usual soft voice. He opened his mouth and then closed it again, words never forming. I waited for his reply.
I waited three minutes. In two minutes I would win.
Then he opened his mouth, and words came flying out. “The journal was never found because Meagan Singer ripped out all the pages before throwing the journal over the edge of the hill when the murderer threatened. All secrets were disposed of.”
I laughed again. I heard some students gasp. They knew I had found a loop hole. “Exactly my point, Alex… If the secrets were disposed of, then there is no truth behind it. If there is no journal because Meagan Singer supposedly threw it over the edge, how do we know that is true? We don’t. Because she was never real. None of them were. If she wanted to get rid of the journal, then the next morning the police might have looked in the river for anything that Meagan or the murderer touched. Pages would’ve entangled in something. Everything happens for a reason, and there was no reason behind the murderer’s motives or Meagan’s. And if the reason isn’t good enough, then it never happened.” I smiled, waiting for his reply again.
Four minutes. Once again, he came back full force. I sighed.
“You don’t have to see something to believe it.” He spoke softly, and stepped down from the stand. He wasn’t smiling this time. He wasn’t even trying to flirt with me like he used to do after every debate. No matter who had won.
“And that was what I was looking for, Alex, but I’m afraid that Lexie Killington came across some approving loop holes against you. Proof is needed to win a real debate, Alex. Lexie wins.” Everyone erupted into applause as Alex sulked off to his desk.
I smiled nervously as I took my seat behind him as others began chatting.
I poked his shoulder. “I’m sorry about this morning.” He said, and turned around to face me. I wasn’t expecting that. He always acted like a jerk when it came to dating.
“I’m sorry for mocking you with Meagan Singer.” I replied, looking down at my fingers clenched in a fist.
He turned around so that his whole handsome body was leaning towards me. “Why? I didn’t mind loosing to you, Killington. I was thinking of a way to apologize to you.”
“You’re always a jerk when it comes to love, my friend,” I laughed.
“Because I’m a jerk in love, Lexie,” he looked down sheepishly.
“I’m starting to believe you. On both matters,” I answered looking away nervously knowing that he could always look right through me.
He snapped his head up. “What?” He asked incredulously.
“Jinx… is well… older…” I started.
He nodded his head, prompting for more. “Go on…”
“…Than me… and well… I find you…attractive…” I stuttered. His face was so adorable! Why hadn’t I ever seen that?
Crap. What was I thinking?! Should’ve stayed for the sex… should’ve stayed…
“Do you want to complete both thoughts before I explode?”
“Yes!” I replied eagerly.
“Go on, then,” He answered calmly. That was surprising too…
“Okay. Let me get this all the way out completely instead of keeping us both on edge.” His eyes perked up when I said, ‘us’. “I find you extremely adorable; handsome, and the thoughts on Meagan and the Singers, well, I’m… I can’t believe I am saying this, starting to wonder if my logic is correct or not. I think that she may be real,”
This started the countdown to explosion. “Why the hell do you believe that she’s real?!” He wasn’t angry… He was surprisingly exciting, despite his use of vocabulary words. “You just beat me in the most persuasive way in that debate that Meagan Anne Singer and the rest of that family never existed! And now you believe me?”
“I’ve debated the impossible before, Alex. But it’s the dreams and hallucinations that is getting me to believe you and Meagan Singer’s story.”
His eyes dropped, and his face fell. He shook his head a couple of times, thinking of something. His brown eyes searched my desk in front of him, while his mind contemplated my own words. I have never seem him this way before. Not even when I ended our relationship.
Finally, he spoke up. “You’re getting dreams? Hallucinations? Dreams and hallucinations of the family? Lexie, do you know how severe that is?” He looked worried, and before I knew it, he had his hands on my shoulders. “This stuff is extremely tricky, Lexie. But hallucinations and dreams of this family is beyond my type of apparitions and psychic. This girl is trying to connect to you. I don’t know why. But she knows something that we outta know.”
I pushed his hands off my shoulders as people were starting to stare at us. His voice kept itching up octaves. I felt like I could scream. This was a bad idea. He couldn’t handle this… He can’t. I stood up, and pulled my books off the table, and moved from my seat to the floor.
“Alex, you can never handle anything!” I whispered, and stared down the class until they all went back to their chatter. Mrs. James even looked away so that she couldn’t interfere with our own little squabble.
He dropped his hands that were frozen in mid place and stood up so that he was towering over me. Suddenly we were the only people in the class room.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He apologized and put his arms around my waist. I didn’t struggle free.
“Let’s talk about this over dinner… And please don’t back out this time,” he said, softly, as if he thought we were the only people here too.
“I won’t back out.”
“And keep Jinx out of this too. Don’t tell him about the hallucinations or the dreams at all. If you get a headache, ignore it if you’re around him. He’ll only make it worse.” He whispered, although I didn’t remember telling him about headaches or the intensity of them. So, I just nodded, and folded my arms around his neck. This was something that I hadn’t done in a while.
I peeked up on my platforms, and kissed him. He leaned in towards me, knowing that I couldn’t reach his lips. I giggled after I kissed him. I guess I really did miss Alex…
“I really miss you, Lexie. Don’t let Jinx get this much fun from you.” He laughed softly, and as the bell rang, reality came back and hit me in the stomach, knocking the air out of me.
I fell to my knees, and people came running towards me.
Alex fell with me, placing his hands on both of my shoulders, trying to peek into my squinted eyes.
My body felt as if it was on fire, and I couldn’t handle it anymore. I let out a scream.
“What’s wrong with her?” Someone spoke, and a rant of questions followed behind Jessica’s query.
“Why did she just scream?”
“What did you do, Alex?!”
“Get her to the hospital!” Someone else screamed, and I tried to object, but I could fell my body twitching, and tears flowing from under my eyes.
“Alex…” I managed, and then she appeared again under my eyelids. I felt my body go limp, and I was taken in by darkness to visit memories that didn’t belong to me.
 Deceased Poet · Wed Sep 24, 2008 @ 02:27am · 0 Comments |
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