Such a bad day yesterday. :[ You can't even imagine how bad it was. I seriously tried to off myself again last night after the final thing that added to me stress. So, I feel like sharing with you guys what gave me the biggest headache I could ever possibly have. It was like everyone in my school was hitting me with a hammer and I couldn't concentrate anymore. It hurt like hell. And I was seriously asking to die last night because it hurt so badly. :[
1. It all started off with the morning thinking about what happened between me and Nick (<3) in which I am still too uncomfortable with sharing any details.
2. Then it sky rocketed from there onto band when I couldn't keep my eyes opened any longer and ended up snoozing during it because I was EXHAUSTED.
3. Onto Spanish, My headache began and it started to hurt to move around and I was getting annoyed by Mrs. Frink's annoying voice... :[
4. Then During lunch caused number 5 or 6. I was fooling around with Ew Adam and Tyler and said that I was going to invite Nick to homecoming and stand Tyler up. (Which I would never do no matter how much I wished Nick lived down here). My headache grew more intense by the time lunch ended and Leanna kidnapped me and Saphire. :[ God, she's so evil.
5. I got to math and I finally started to cry because the headache wouldn't leave me alone.
6. I got to the end of the day, and Jenn got my phone taken away for the day. I flipped out. >:[ But that was just because the day was finally taking it's toal on me.
7. I got home. My guinea pig is missing. I FLIP OUT. My headache is so bad, I am wishing that I could just die. I scream and I cry so hard and run over to Jerrica's. Of course she is a good friend and helps me find Kallie. I couldn't help her at all to get Kallie out of under my dresser becuase I can't concentrate on anything except for the throbbing pain in my head around my temples, ears, and forhead. When I finally tore my room up looking for her, number 8 started.
8. My grandmother starts lecturing me about how my room looks. Again, I flip out. Jerrica has to help me to stop crying. Trust me, at this point, I couldn't feel, hear, or think about anything BUT the horrible pain.
9. I get a message (This is where I started to beg for death) from one of my BEST friends and he says that he's opting out of homecoming with me. He took what I had said about Nick seriously. I wasn't being serious. I felt like the biggest b***h on the planet. THE BIGGEST. Bigger than Ashlea McDonald. Bigger than the PREPS in middle school/highschool. I felt like my whole world was crashing down on me. I totally got one of my best guy friends to hate me. I hated myself 100% now. Nothing was ever going to get better. And here comes my best friend, Tears and the headache.
10. My dad. Ugh. DO I have to say anymore?
So, I skipped school today. I was depressed. And still am. I'm extreamly stressed and exhausted. Luckily, the day started to fix all of the damage life had caused me in one meesly day. Unfourtanetly, depression got the best of me, and I once again cut myself. And instead of using something that didn't exactly hurt, I used a knife. Ouch.
Anyways.... yea. SO STRESSED. ugh. crying
 Deceased Poet · Wed Oct 29, 2008 @ 12:40am · 0 Comments |
