I started digging through some of my old folders, and I found more poems. It was nice reading through them again, and I thought I'd type them up and fix them later. So yes.
the want to be wanted
sometimes i feel i just want to be wanted
like i thirst for the attention
but i don't even know why
then other times
i don't want to be bothered
it's not that i'm depressive
i think i'm a lot of fun
i just have changes of mood
lately things aren't satisfying
food is good, but there's nothing i crave
i'm not unhappy, but i don't feel joyous either
and i sit and think about what really makes me smile
usually the insignificant things
a surprise phone call
a piece of candy someone gives me
a good story told by a total stranger
and what do these things reveal
i like to be thought of
i want to be wanted
still thinking of you
i haven't found anyone better for me than you
and i'm too stubborn to call you on the phone
i forgot how we got in this situation
but i think about you when i'm alone
i all too often dwell on the past
though i do so less every day
it's not that i haven't moved on
you just impacted my life that way
maybe we'll see each other again
but then again maybe not
and if that chance arises
i'd like to give it a shot
how does one say "i love you"
sometimes i hate my pessimism
it results in hesitism
and i get caught in a circle
that circulates through my mind
i take a breath and concentrate
make sure my emotions don't instigate
a decision i might regret
or suffer for down the line
why do my words pause with hesitation
is it my overactive imagination
that constant fear of the future
and what will happen to me
i'm uncomfortable having so much emotion
and i don't know where i got that notion
why can't it be more simple
it's my only insecurity
sometimes i feel so inundated
is it really that complicated
of course it isn't
but i've created a monster in my mind
happiness is all that matters
i say nice things not just to flatter you
you know i mean it
you're someone not easy to find
so where do all these thoughts leave me
i'm not sure but in the end i'm happy
happy to be the one
to share these thoughts with you
i hope my doubts don't complicate things
nor go overboard and start to cling
but everything will be fine
because you feel the same way too
i kick myself
i've made the mistake
of complacency and
now i'm paying the price
i've made the mistake
of being a p***y
and trying to be too nice
and now i kick myself
for all the previous hesitations
because not being myself
has led to all of these frustrations
i don't want to live
in the past if i can help it
but the road ahead
is slippery as i drive it
i've made the mistake of stupidity
and now i kick myself
i kick myself
for when i hesitated
i kick myeslf
i'm so frustrated
i kick myself
you're a distraction part 1
why do i build up feelings
that i'm not sure exist
i shouldn't insist
i've made up my vacillate mind
i don't understand
how you can be so indecisively cruel
i question if you care
for my well being, or if this
is just an illusion to
fill temporary satisfaction
it's all a distraction
to the rest of my life --
my life revolves around
my all-too-caring heart
i don't understand
how you can be so indecisively cruel
but why should i expect
you to make up your mind
when i can't make up mine
you're a distraction part 2
so i don't know
what i want
cuz i can't read
how you feel
wouldn't it be sad
if you're going through
the same ******** ordeal
i'm patient but
i can't wait forever
for you to decide
on what you're going to do
i just guess you don't
know what i'm emotionally
going through
you're crying for attention
it's so obvious
with those you keep around,
but is there anything i can say
is there anything i can do
i'm so afraid of ******** up
that i can't tell you
how i feel
perfect
something about you
makes me remember
all of the time
we have shared together
i never knew
the truth of perfection
yet still i don't
but you're a connection
your flaws are perfect
to my eyes
a veil ignorance
your only disguise
this whole reality
seems so incessant
and all this perfection
just makes me hesitant
just so perfect
how can it be
someone like you
found someone like me
dampening eyes
there are some you can't let go of
the ones whom you shed a tear for
when they travel away from you
those are the ones you feel you love
then there are some that you hate to see go
but hold back your dampening eyes
when they part from your side
these are the ones you know you love
wisdom
the first step to wisdom
is to know you know nothing
the way to appreciate
is to start with nothing
well all I know now
is that I don't have you
and all I posses
is my craving for you
I feel I've needed you
since the beginning of time
on my way to wisdom I ask,
will you ever be mine?
 nangal · Sun Nov 30, 2008 @ 06:31am · 0 Comments |
