So I'm in the middle of math finals, and my anxiety just goes bad. There was on odd number of math problems. There was an odd number of kids in the classroom, counting myself and the teacher. The teacher was watching Gilligan's Island, season 3. I counted some of the stuff in class to try to fix it, because I have a thing about even numbers. Everything I counted ended up ODD.
So I counted my steps coming home. 137. Odd. I set my stuff down, and looked at the how many people were online. THREE. Odd. I had a drink, took me 5 gulps. FIVE. Odd.
It's gotten to the point where I'm shaking right now. Like shivering when you're cold. I took some medicine, that obviously didn't help. And to top it all off, I'm sick of this. I'm setting my status for Gareth right [Hayy buddie! <3] and someone who ISN'T Gareth assumed it was meant for them and tried to be all like 'Shuddap I hate you. Go die.' Yea well, news flash:
You said you're suicidal. And you're fine now. Everyone was right. You just wanted attention. You were trying to grab attention, and I gave it to you. If anything, I deserve the truth.
I'm screwed up. If you want to laugh, I'll give you something to laugh at. I know how cruel you can be, I know how much of a sick ******** you are. So here you go. You said you're suffering from depression right? You aren't depressed. Here's what I suffer from.
OCD [Bipolar disorder]
Binge Eating Disorder [B.E.D.]
Insomnia
Hypersomnia
Anxiety [Panic Disorder. Panic attacks.]
Paranoia
Dysthymia [Also classified in my case as Adjustment Disorder with Depressed Mood]
Now, care to discuss your problems? We should trade for a while. I get to have your smile and laughter, you get to have my anxiety, food issues, OCD, tiredness, paranoia, and take a bunch of medicine for it all three times a day. And you always wondered by I was so dazed at school. It's because I've got all this s**t on my shoulders! So don't you even dare assume anything I say or do a*****e. I'm ******** done with this.
I've said it before, I WILL say it many times until you get it through your ******** head! PICK A DAMN EMOTION AND STICK WITH IT. Then tell me what you've picked so you can move on with your life, and I can move on with mine.
 nangal · Sat Dec 20, 2008 @ 12:55am · 0 Comments |
