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"Reflections. They show who people really are."
Reflections show who our outside is. But they don't give us the story of how they became that way. It's easy to look into a mirror and see ourselves among the other people. But do they show our inside? No. They simply show reflections.
"You see the mirror over there? Go look into it. It's not going to show who you are though. It's going to show you what everyone else sees."
And who is it everyone else sees? Auntie L, they don't see me anymore. They don't see who you said they would see. You said they'd see an angel, a spirit guide. But they don't. They see clipped wings. They see a misleader. They don't see the glow, they see dulled life. You said they'd see who could help them, but they avoid it. They see someone who'll hurt them, not the helper.
"Those colours you see dear, they won't tell you what life is. They'll tell you personality traits. But the colours don't show the life stories they have to tell."
And what are the stories they have to tell? What was your story? I'm finding out more and more as the hours go by. I'm learning what you knew. I'm learning that I can see and do what you can. I'm learning that I am you. I saw younger pictures. I see me in your face. They do too. They look into my eyes. They touch my face. They hug me tight and cry. They call me Leotie. They call me Prairie Flower. They braid my hair, they bundle me up. They say I'm always so cold like ice, just like you were. Uncle Nawat takes pride in me. He's left-handed too. He holds my hand and walks me to the river with your friends and family. They ask if I'm like you. They ask if I see what you did, and if I feel how you feel. They say I laugh like you. They cry, they tell me you left to grow up again, and you're growing up in me.
"You have a spirit honey. Don't break your spirit. Follow what the real ones tell you, the guides will give you life."
You once told me stories when I was little. They thought I was too young to remember, but I remember them all. The one about the orange wolf, and the big grey man. The one about the purple fish, and the one about the owl. I remember every single one of the stories. I remember. I remember you laughing and smiling at me, ruffling my hair and telling me good job. I remember you telling me what was around me, what stayed with me. I remember you picking around at the air around me when I was sick and telling me "You're unhappy, unwell. Tell me what is wrong." I remember that I stopped crying when you hugged me. I remember what you told me the day before you left that day. "The spirits will help you. They will let you know their presence when you are troubled."
I remember the phone call. "Leotie is calling for you. She is unwell. Come now." I remember shaking my head yes. I remember getting there and walking up to you and holding your cold hands in mine. I remember you smiling and telling me something I didn't understand. Then you smied and took your deep breath and closed your eyes. I was the only one around inside. I remember walking out, they had hopeful looks on their faces. They all were grey and tan though. I told them what you said. "The moon above the horizon, next to the sun." They told me. They looked at me, and took me to the river. They wrapped me up, and put me in the river. They told me what I must do. They told me what you said. "Look to left, Nawat watches you. Look to right, Prairie Flowers. Plant seed, it will grow inside. Follow guide, say no to reflections."
I remember.
 nangal · Wed Jan 28, 2009 @ 03:58am · 0 Comments |
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