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How long?
How long has it been since I looked inside of me
And saw the passion
and saw the real girl who thrived inside my blackened shell?
How long?
How long since I knew who I was
And how long since I felt happy?
How long has my heart been
Dampened by black shadows,
and bled black blood?
How long?
Dear God,
How long!
How long have I let
people decide for me,
let people mock me
let people control me
Control my life?
How long...
Please tell me...
Where is my angel?
Where is that angel
That is supposably watching over me?
How long since
I decided that I wouldn't let people
get too close to my heart?
How long has it been since I hated
People and their ways?
How long ago was it
that I lost trust in everyone?
How long...?
How long, dear God,
please answer me...
How ******** long?
Who am I?
Did I once know?
Did I once know who?
Did I once know my heart
my body,
my mind?
Did I know me?
Did I know you?
Did I trust everyone?
If so,
How long ago?
When did I loose everything?
How long ago, did I give up?
When did I have the strength
to give up on everyone,
Everything...?
Oh, I can no longer
Bear it alone.
Bear my ways anymore.
My wrists are slits of black blood,
and my mind is tainted by ugly lies
And ugly angry bruises...
Abused by people who betrayed me
Used me,
lied to me,
angered me.
My body is lingering
Only on pure adrenaline,
And on the hope
that still thrives somewhere deep inside of me.
How long, though,
Did I hope for pure happiness?
And how long...
Was it that I wanted to die?
How long?
~by Samantha Mikolajczak
 Deceased Poet · Sat Jan 31, 2009 @ 10:39pm · 0 Comments |
