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Better late then never, right? |
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Almost forgot to write a proper entry! redface
anyways, scrtac, random thought. I cant believe I started writing in this thing daily-ish again! guess that means i've restarted my self therapy....
ah s**t. i forgot what i was gonna write now.....oh well. guess i'll have to just write something else in stead! rofl
So.....um....basiclly did nothing but hang in chatroom since last entry which is sad. I ate, watched the steelers get their asses kicked here and there through the third-quarter, and to calm my baby girl down cuz in the chatroom, they made me growl, and well......she get scared when shes hears my angry growl. took me a few minutes to calm her down and convince her i wasnt mad at her. shes a dog, hows she supposed to know i was mad at someone who isnt there? i havnt growled like that in awhile. scared myself! sweatdrop
hmm seems as though im writing properly again. earlier it seemed as though i couldnt form a sentence. they all sounded awkward, chopped-off, unfinished. was weird. luckily seems to have stopped. it was getting very annoying.. So im scwered damn it, mean screwd. wonder how many times ive said that....oh. and also reminds of a question i forgot to ask you heather, but it can wait. anywas morow is what the 7th? well today.....7th?! s**t. my luck. no wonder i cant get that damned Amajour scale right. so the point (ha like i ever have one!) i have piano class morow and havnt done a second of homework! and on the 16th i have my school review and still not ready for that.....and guess what i found out today, well yesterday. I missed the manditory orientations for new students! it was the 5th. and that was the session for students who missed the other ones! ugh. wonder if ill get in trouble or not since im not technically a credit-earning student since im non-degree seeking for awhile still. wonder what path ill take....hmm just relized why my entries often dont have sepreate paragraphs when i type them. i type a train of thought,complte randomness connected by my mind. they are all one thought and one paragraph......oh well. who needs paragraphs anyway?? (me!) oh shut up. and i am talking to myself again....oh great. well i pretty much stopped entering darkened swords. for many reasons not just one!
1: i have no idea whats going on since the arc opened
2: Every since my week brake from the guild at new years, ive felt behind, lost, and such
3: Been busy supposedly doing homework and stuff, but in reality also searching web for random stuff, cleaning, and building a brand new RP character without any help or inspiration like I had with Naruto and Bleach. never done this before....could take awhile.....
4: my little plague is starting up again, which makes me very scared and very sad. been making act a little weird in my opinion. but i really dont wanna lose gaia....
maybe ill elaborate more on that later......no i wont. i probably wont have the time to be able too.....oh gods what am i going to do? this time it hasnt even lasted a semester! ive been a member since only october! its only been four months, hardly a semester.....maybe ill be lucky and my classes will fill up my time, among the other things thatll be left empty.....
why must i be like this? im just wired to hurt myself in my terrible attempt to protect myself.....i should've known it was coming i guess. i was thinking bout actually putting my name on this site. be first time ive allowed any bit of physical me online in a very long time.....gods i feel so old sometimes. guess thats what i get for being smart, empath, an adicted reader and writer, and being able to remeber things as far back as my 4th birthday. cant remember before that, trauma and all prevents it. probably a good thing. im iffy with my parents as it is....
why am i writing all this crap anyways!?! (cuz your stupid and dont talk to anyone) i told you to hush. noneya business. *sigh* and today was so good....i have to ruin everything dont i? its a good thing i dont ever get close enough to people for me to talk to them like this.....i couldnt handle that. i can barely handle just writing it while pretending that no one will ever read it. barely stand it when i fail at pretending and remember that you read it, and its online so anyone can, and someone probably will......at least online i can make it go away and hope it dosent ever come back....wonder if i can...no....dont think that....your not that far yet. (yet being the keyword there) yes. i might get there soon.....dreading it and looking foward to it. though i have no idea why.(cuz your masochistic, melo-dramatic, and a closet punisher.) whatever. no one asked your opinion did they? (they? you made more?) figure of speech. go away. im going to bed. (but not to sleep)
 BSPBleach · Mon Feb 07, 2011 @ 07:39am · 1 Comments |
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