High school... Was once just a place for learning, studying, working hard for good grades, and push for athletics. But now it seems like a social club. Separating everyone into groups of their own. Even fan, art, music, geek, and jock clubs. Its dumb really, everyone having different colored walls to their match. And some that don't even have that colored wall. My colored wall? I don't specifically have one. I'm an open door, to let all those colors flow in. I'm accepted my many, but rejected by few. I'm as innocent as they can be. And when I mean innocent; I mean I AM. Never getting into trouble, but letting the trouble dissolve in my soul. Keeping secrets that are never to be brought forward. Keeping the selfish things to myself, and helping everyone else instead. Never speaking of adultery nor curse. I guess you could call me a tough angel.
It seems nowadays sex, dirty profanity, nudeness, drama, gossip, beer, tobacco, drugs, and cursing is all that seems to be brought up in school for entertainment...
So now, I'm at the bottom of the chain in a way. I still talk to everyone, but am always shoved in a corner now and then. I am the only virgin, Christian, athlete in my school. (Except new freshmen of course.) But I am sometimes lost in convos when something disgusting is brought up. So I seep into my imaginary/dark world until someone wants to talk of something more modern...
Everyday I go through the normal routine; go to first hour Aide, then English IV, and 3rd Desktop Publishing. Desktop is my fav class of all, I get to use Photoshop and be up there with the pros programs. But everyday...there's Calem... My best friend since 8th grade. And first Ex, since early freshman year. I still love him as family, but he has a dark side; like everyone does. He acts like a father...but is not one near that... He is a preachers kid, and has his eyes on many girls in this school. His last girl friend/Ex: Dana Blish, is the most beautiful, smart, encouraging woman in the world. But Calem hurts her, as much as me and friends... He's a PLAYER...(Sad to say its true, but he doesn't care if he has sex the next day and tells me about it...makes me so mad.) He got furious at me recently for just mentioning my other best friend Brendon. (He wants to date me, but I won't let him.) I told him, "Your exactly like Brendon." He was really mad when I said that. It was true, they are both so much alike. He soon asked my teacher to go to the bathroom, and I didn't see him for the rest of the day...
Did I say something wrong? It was the honest truth. I felt guilty... I didn't know what to do... At lunch I didn't say a word. I was starting to freakout so much I blanked out, and sat there staring into my food tray... I started shaking nervously, thinking I'd just lost Calem forever... Nothing would be the same I thought. Suddenly the bell startled me from my endless void of thoughts and I went to my next hour. After that hour, I saw Brendon. And out came with my mouth of nervous and scared.
I told Brendon what Calem told me. How he didn't deserve me. How he was making me fall for him with non-serious charm. And how Calem would disown our friendship if I got together with Brendon... I was shaking, panicking, my brain blank from words. Of course Brendon hugged, tried to calm me down. Calling Calem a man-whore and p***y cause he did the same thing...
Brendon always admits and tells the truth of what he does. But Calem lies about everything. I love them both to the deep death of my heart. But sometimes, they are both the same I never know what to say or do about that certain situation...
So I started calling them the "Boys Who Murder Love"; cause they always move on to a different girl so fast and never have time to stay single. And trouble and drama follows them everywhere... Cause they don't know the TRUE meaning of Love. Me? I've been happily single for 4 years, and nothing will change that.
To get to the conclusion, I never want to lose them. I'm always honest to them and tell the utmost truth. But that doesn't seem to make it any better...Either they get mad, upset, or laugh about it. But they are still them... Players of my heart...
RyumeiX1 Community Member 
|
|
