i feel absolutly worthless and latley my mind is realling with these thoughts. I want someone to care for me...but i feel guilty for thinking such things i cant keep this inside anymore i cant thoughts of suicided and attempts are plauging me and i feel horrible for that to i want to be strong but all of this IM WEAK arent I. The struggeling of all these people am i even worth such things. I tried to kill myself a few days back but it didnt work and even after that i feel weak and guilty.
I feel selffish just expecting someone to care for me. I place this mask of stone before me and try to lock these things away and become what i am supposed to the strong support the comfort the one to care for others to heal them to help them and hold them up but its not working.
Just look at me a useless hunk of flesh mabey they were right you know. All those people all those years ago excpecially them... the ones who cut me up....thats all im good for to give them what they want and then be washed away from the memory of the world.
The voices are fading, those of the few who really loved me...im not really here any more you know. Im just so sorry about this sorry that everything i try dosent work its just...that this person i see when i look in the mirror isent me but its right and im wrong. what am i to do what should i do what should i say for i am drowning in my scilent screams and the tears i lock inside.
Alucards_shadowgirl Community Member |
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