ok...well all the sleepless nights and all the stress I've been feeling has started to take it's toll on my body...nothing to worry about really...I just had to say it...
I'm just becoming exhausted...But I know that if I stop I'll start thinking about things I don't want to think about and I'ld rather drive myself into the ground then think about them...
Sam...while I know he's joking around and that's just how he is...has continued to tell me he wishes I was dead...he's now come up with this plot to make me a coffin that as I struggle for life and an escape it gets tighter and tighter until all I can do is lay there suffocating. Everytime I think about it, actually stopping to think, I wander if it wouldn't be so bad...I already feel like I'm suffocating...but not because people around me...more the lack thereof...
of course I always feel like this and I know I always will...it's my life, I've gotten used to it. I don't even think that if I had someone that I would feel completely happy...depressing huh? Eh...so is life...but don't worry! This is just random thoughts that pop into my head. And I haven't hurt myself yet nor do I have any intention of doing that...it's not who I am...I think it's selfish to hurt yourself...because if you do have people around you they will probably blame themselves...and they shouldn't blame themselves...do you catch me?...*shrugs* Just...don't worry... 3nodding heart
 Isabella_Mortua · Sat Mar 05, 2005 @ 02:59am · 4 Comments |
