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So I'm doing something completely rare and writing in this journal.

I've been really angry. Really REALLY angry lately. I don't want to be angry, either. Sometimes I enjoy being angry. No seriously, I do. I feel all sorts of fiery and like I could light someone on fire just by poking them. But I've also noticed that I feel all fiery and stuff when I'm extremely happy. It's more of a giant warmth and I've had a lot of people tell me that they can feel it. I like being in that state, and who wouldn't? So I try to convert the anger into something else. What I'm really doing is suppressing it, and it's going to eventually turn into rage. The rage doesn't necessarily have to act upon anyone else. It could easily be directed towards myself. This has to be stopped, but I'm not quite sure what to do. I could see if there's an energy blockage and try to dissolve it, or I could ride it out. I could meditate with it, maybe. I've done that before, and it became slightly more manageable after that.

This sort of reminds me of a couple friends I have. These two friends are always talking about how they relate to the element of water because they're pacifists and don't like to fight. They don't like to show their tempers and one of them goes as far as refusing to swear. They tell me that fire freaks them out and they don't like to be around it. This makes me wonder how sensitive they are to tracing the element-relationship of other people. I'm not saying that one person is directly related to an element their whole lives, or even saying they're related to just one element. I'm imbalanced at the moment. I used to be one of those people who was obsessed with water, but I realized that it was actually doing a lot of damage to myself. I was way emotionally vulnerable and I was so damn shy that I didn't speak to anyone for an entire semester. I even had people tell me that it freaked them out that I would just sit in the room during club meetings and never once say a single word. I used fire to pull myself out of that shell, and it worked.

I know why I'm angry. I'm angry because of my printmaking teacher and how shady he is. Truthfully, all of the printmaking teachers are assholes and there's nothing anyone can really do about reporting them because they're all about ready to put in their 30 years, so nobody really cares. I think that's what is really making me angry, just the fact that there's nothing I can do to save my grade from this asswipe. Maybe I can have a talk with anger/rage/wrath/whoever it is that is so upset about this and see if there are any alternatives I can do.

Wow. I usually type in my LJ instead of here.