• You sloths, you pigs! Your deep-fried doom is nigh! Continue to worship the false gods that are these greasy, dirty fast-food chains and you will surely suffer a fate far worse than burning in the pits of hell.
    Although you may not feel anything immediately, your body will bloat to the size of a blimp. Your man-boobs will stretch farther than a bungee and the underside of both your man-boobs and stomach will become a lost-and-found and small animals that get trapped underneath that disgusting lard suffocate from both the stench and the weight of the fat weighing down on it.
    Your sex life will diminish to nothingness. You will no longer have the ability to do the deed nor will anybody want to. You will also no longer be able to find your peter under layers of fat but then again, no one will want you to locate it either. You will become confined to the couch, the TV being your only solace and friend. However, you will eventually become frustrated with the TV. First, you will lose the remote inside the couch, and because you’ve become the lazy oaf that you are, you won’t get up and change the channel or try to find the remote. Then, your arse will have an excruciating pain because the remote is lodged in it.
    What sort of life is worth living if you do nothing but sit around eating Cheetos? So redemption is the only choice! Fix up your life style, and maybe you won’t end up a flabby mess.