- I was frozen in horror that one of the brothers, one of the very men who was killing his own kin for no real reason, was standing befor me smiling as though nothing was happening. My eyes were still very poorly focused due to going into my suddenly darkened room. The moon had hid behind the clouds, as I wish I could at this very momment. All I could make out was this brother was wearing beige colored clothing, which made it harder to tell where he was, and I could barly make out his hair length let alone it's color. This man standing befor me made no effort to move towards me or to speak to me. It was as though he was waiting for me to do something myself. Suddenly he moved and was infront of me in an instant, he moved so fast that it had startled me a bit. He rested his arm on my shoulder and smiled again, "No hug for your favorite brother"? He asked thoughly amusing himself. But at that momment I heard nothing, just this echoing voice telling me that this murderer was my 'brother', then I can't recall a thing after those words. But what I do remember was feeling extreamly cold...
- by II Kazuya_Shibuya II |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 03/20/2009 |
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- Title: Broken Bonds part 4
- Artist: II Kazuya_Shibuya II
- Description: Ok srry my last ones have had LOTS of spelling errors and im VERY sorry for that.....i was very tired while i was typing again im very sorry. I hope this will be somewhat decent and i wanted to say thank you to the 3 or 4 people who pointed out my errors and to please continue helping me. Thank you very much everyone! ^ ^
- Date: 03/20/2009
- Tags: broken bonds part
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Comments (1 Comments)
- Mr Badou Nails - 04/27/2009
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This reminds me of something I've read before, the ending at least.
It's a bit amateur and there are a few words that are spelled wrong as well as some grammar.
But it's fairly decent, better than some I've seen.
I'll give you a 3/5.
Check out my submission and tell me what you think!
-Badou - Report As Spam