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He was weak and could barely get up on occasional mornings. But at times he was out of bed and full of life despite his sickness. Vince, at age seventeen, was slowly dying due to primary immunodeficiency. His parents and relatives are in a constant state of worry, but Vince never really worried about it. He had something else to occupy his thoughts.
The wind blew softly as a young girl sat along the grassy shoreline of a lake that appeared to have an orange hue from the sunset. Leaves from the many maple trees that faced the lake fell in slanted directions, complementing the brisk fall weather. The girl sat and thought on past events of the day, mainly because for some reason the memories seemed more vivid.
Earlier in the day, she chatted on the phone with Vince from her home. Vince was still in the hospital, but today was one of the rare days when he could get out of bed.
“They’re letting me go out today,” Vince said to the girl over the phone.
“Really? That’s wonderful,” she responded.
“Yeah.” Vince sat idle for a moment. “Nicole, I want to see you.”
“I want to see you, too,” Nicole said. “I miss you, Vince.”
“Can you meet me at our spot on the lakeshore?”
“O-okay, just give me an hour. I can’t wait to see you again.”
“Neither can I. I’ll see you there.”
“Okay. Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
“Bye.”
“Bye, Nicole.”
Nicole moved these memories around in her head as she sat in the grass facing the lake. Her lavender hoodie provided protection against occasional chilly winds, yet she still hugged her knees to her chest. A single leaf fell on the top of her auburn-colored hair. Nicole just closed her eyes and smiled, awaiting the appearance of her boyfriend, unaware of the red leaf in her hair.
After a long while, a hand touched Nicole’s shoulder. She opened her eyes and quickly spun around to see Vince, who was smiling at her warmly. His dark hair moved in sync with the passing of the wind; Nicole stood up just to run her hand through it while staring into his even darker eyes. He said her name one time. Vince spoke it quietly but lovingly, and the feelings he placed in his voice were conveyed easily to Nicole. She blushed but never looked away from him and grabbed his navy blue hoodie by the waist and pulled him closer. The two kissed for a few seconds that seemed like hours. The wind took the leaf out of Nicole’s hair and guided it through the air along with the other leaves scattered about.
The couple walked over to a tree hand-in-hand. Nicole sat down at its base first and watched Vince’s movements as if he was an angel. But his movements weren’t as graceful; he seemed to struggle to bend down to sit. But that smile of his never left his face. Reassurance halfway filled Nicole.
Vince placed his hand over Nicole’s and watched the lake. Nicole smiled at him, but at that moment, that split feeling of reassurance left her. Vince appeared a little pale in her eyes. She wondered if he was really okay being outside of the hospital.
“Are you okay, Vince?” she asked. “You look a little tired.”
Vince looked at her and said, “I’m fine. Why do you ask?”
But she couldn’t believe him. His eyes also yielded signs of weakness. Despite this, she wanted to enjoy this moment with him, so she decided to drop the subject.
“Um, no reason. You just look different now.”
“I think I was getting thinner in that hospital,” Vince told her. Nicole looked away. The lake’s color was fading from orange to a light red. The sun was setting deeper into the horizon. She grinned and squeezed Vince’s hand.
“Sunsets are amazing, aren’t they?” she said to him. Vince didn’t reply. Nicole waited for him to, but he still didn’t after a moment. She looked over at him and saw that his eyes were slowly falling closed. Nicole nudged him in slight worry and saw him jolt back up.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked Vince again.
“Well… I am feeling a little lightheaded,” he confessed. “But I’ve been like that for the past month. God… I hate dying.”
An enormous realization rushed through the walls of Nicole’s mind. Of course she knew that Vince didn’t have much time, but she started to wonder what it would be like when he was really gone. She looked at the lake with worry in her eyes.
“Um, if it’s okay,” Vince said, “I want to rest in your lap for a while. Lying down helps me get over dizziness.” He proceeded to place his head into Nicole’s lap. She welcomed his request and continued to think.
Vince was born with immunodeficiency and it only recently started taking its toll on his body. No one had really told her when it was expected for Vince to die, but she had an idea of when.
“Vince…” Nicole started. “Why did they decide all of a sudden to let you go outside of the hospital?”
Vince was conscious but he didn’t respond. He just squeezed Nicole’s hand even tighter and shuddered a little. Nicole had a thought: she didn’t think he was supposed to leave the hospital. She didn’t think he was given permission to leave the hospital.
“Nicole…” he mumbled.
“Yes?”
“You know this already, but it’s just important that I keep saying this.”
“What?”
“…I love you.”
Nicole was taken aback. “I love you, too.”
“…And I’m glad that I was able to spend this time with you, because I’m going to be leaving in a while.”
“Okay.”
Nicole felt the warmth of his body in her lap. She didn’t understand why Vince left the hospital without anyone knowing. What’s so important about this encounter they’re having?
Nicole could feel Vince’s heartbeat on her leg. She stroked his head full of hair while thinking of plausible explanations for his actions. Why had he snuck out? What was his rush back?
“I love you…” he said again, only slower.
He was too weak to sit down…
“I love you…”
He looks slightly pale…
“I love you…”
He continues to nearly pass out…
“I love…”
It finally hit Nicole. Her eyes fell slightly and she swallowed hard. Vince wasn’t planning on leaving to go back to the hospital. A tear fell from Nicole’s eye and onto Vince’s face. His body suddenly lost its warmth. His heartbeat on her leg got slower and slower. She heard him breathe out, but he didn’t inhale afterwards. Nicole gripped his head and shoulders and just silently cried. He did all this because he knew his time was up, and he wanted to be around Nicole when he “left”.
The sun was unnoticeably gone. Nicole still cried and held on to Vince’s body through the darkness of night. Everyone knew he was going to die soon. She knew he was going to die soon. Just not like this…
- by xyzdraco56 |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 07/01/2009 |
- Skip
- Title: Not Like This
- Artist: xyzdraco56
- Description: A sad story I decided to write because... it just popped in my head, so I went with it and it became this. But it is based on actual events that I've seen happen.
- Date: 07/01/2009
- Tags: like
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Comments (1 Comments)
- Princess of Darkness 365 - 07/01/2009
- oh my god! that is so sad! i'm actually crying right now.
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