• xxxxxxxxxx I'd forgotten, the joy, the shamelessness, the pain, the indulgence, the smells and colors and the images, the sounds, the silence, their presence and their absence, their faces, the tone of their voices, the laughter and the tears and all the things that brought happiness, the need for love, the taste of the years gone by and the ability to run and jump and live and feel free. I'd forgotten. The truth is though, I hadn't forgotten. I wanted to forget. Forgetting would be good, remembering only reminded me of the pain and the emptiness.
    xxxxxxxxxx My very exsistance was so insignificant. I was lost in my own world, oblivious to those around me. Time and space didn't matter in my world, as long as I was happy. That was all I needed to be content. This world, though, this fantasy that I'd made up, like a little girls rainbows, cupcakes and ponies, this fantasy world i lived in was ripping me away from everything I'd known. Most would tell you that they knew this would happen. That they knew I'd end up going crazy, or they knew I would end up the way I did. In reality, nobody expected it to end up like this. No one expected me to end up in a mental hospital, no one expected me to lose my mind and no one expected me to realize what was going on the whole entire time.