• I wake up screaming from my nightmares at least five times. Every time Fluffy sleepily comforts me back to sleep. The nightmares are horrible, but my reality is the same. I can’t tell which are worst, the nightmares, or reality. Many of the nightmares were the same, just replays of the horrors I endured with Sethos.

    I’m in the beginning of yet another nightmare when I’m awaken by a familiar voice.
    “Aw look at Fluffy all cuddly with the new girl.” I open my eyes, glad to be awoken before the nightmare can progress yet angry at the person for interrupting my sleep. I look up to see none other than Kels.
    “Oh shut up, Kelsie.’ I hear Fluffy reply, then sit up. I shiver from the sudden cold. I sit up myself and rub my eyes, trying to wake up.
    “What’s going on?” I confusingly and sleepily ask.
    “You being Fluffy’s cuddle-buddy.” she laughs.
    “Kels!” Fluffy exclaims somewhat annoyed.
    “Oh don’t worry. I know you’re not like that.”
    “Wait… what?” I ask still half asleep and barely keeping up with their bickering.

    Fluffy sighs before saying, “I’m gay. Everyone else here knows it so I guess it’s just a matter of time before you find out too.”
    “Oh.” I say looking at him blankly.
    “Yeah, so if you don’t want to talk to me I get it.” he says, obviously depressed.
    “Why wouldn’t I want to talk to you just because of that?”
    “Most people don’t.” I hear him reply quietly, his head down, ears flat on his head.
    “Well,” I reply looking at him sincerely. “I’m not most people.”

    He looks up, disbelief and happiness in his eyes. “Thank you.” he smiles.

    “So now that we all have that said, we have to start working.” Kels says impatiently, like she can’t stand in one place for more than a few seconds. Which she probably can’t. I nod, reluctant to stand. Fluffy gets up, then holds his hand out to help me up. I take it happily.

    We walk out of the dark room, stepping over the few people sleeping on the ground.
    “So, um… how do we know what to do. And where?” I ask.
    “There’s always jobs posted on the wall over there.” Fluffy says pointing to a wall in what seems like the main room of the “slave quarters”.
    “Usually you just sign up for what to do. But you’re only allowed to do certain jobs. So like you can’t work in the kitchen everyday. It can get a bit hectic, but for the most part it isn’t to bad. There’s a few people who do almost nothing but organize who has to do what. Oh! And then there are assigned jobs. Those are the worst. Sometimes you are assigned a job, or just told to report to one of the masters.” Kels says it all in a huge rush.
    “Um… okay then.” I say not even bothering to ask he what all she said. I know she’ll just say it all just as speedily.

    “It’s not as hard as it sounds.” Fluffy encourages me. The first thing to do is to make sure you’re not on the assigned list.”
    “Um…” I start, realizing something. “How will I know if I’m on the list if I can’t remember my name?”
    “Your number.” Kels states, as if I’m suddenly supposed to understand. “Your code number. They give everyone one when they get here. It makes it easier to keep track of everyone. You’re hardly ever listed with a name.”
    “How do I know my num…”
    “It’s tattooed on you.” Fluffy interrupts me. “Usually on your arm or leg.” I look around my arms, seeing nothing but bruises and healing gashes. I look down past the annoyingly short skirt at my bear feet. On my ankle, a band of black stands out. I look at the imprinted ink with resentment. The numbers stand out, burning themselves into my brain.

    22765463

    Numbers. That’s my identity. That’s who I am, a combination of numbers. Rage fills me, and I want nothing more than to get away, to remember who I am, and get out of this nightmare.

    Fluffy puts his arm around me, comfortingly. I know he knows what I’m feeling. He also had no clue who he was. I’m sure he looked at his own set of numbers at some point and felt the same thing I’m feeling. To have no clue about who you are, and the only thing you can be known as is a set of numbers, is a horrible feeling.
    “Two, two, seven, six, five, four, six, three.” I say the numbers aloud, one by one softly to myself. I know these numbers will haunt me for the rest of my life.

    “Come on, let’s see what you have to do today.” Fluffy says to me softly. I nod in response, and take my eyes away from the numbers etched into my skin. I walk up to the short list marked at the top only with the word “Assigned”. The word seems to be glaring down at everyone, imposing, as if it’s the scariest thing there. Under the word are numbers, more codes, more identities. Across from those are duties, some detailed descriptions of a chore to be done, others simple a name and an order to report to them.

    I look across the list, scanning for the same numbers that are permanently tattooed to my body. I find the numbers on the list, glaring at me. Somehow I’m not surprised that I’m on the list. I place my finger on the numbers, tracing over to whatever I’m assigned. My fingers soon rest next to but a few words.
    “Report to the main hall.” I read aloud to myself.

    I turn to Kels and Fluffy, both giving me sympathetic looks. I step away from the list, and Kels goes up to scan it herself. Obviously not finding her number, she steps sideways to the other sheets, signing her number on one. She backs away, and then like clockwork Fluffy walks up to the “Assigned” paper, it’s ink bearing down on us all. I follow his finger down the list, and see it stop. I read the print by his finger.

    42906350 “Fluffy”

    He scans over to his duty, which I can’t read. He turns and walks back to Kels and I, a somber look on his face.

    “Why is your name by the number?” I ask him apprehensively.
    “Humiliation.” he states simply. He doesn’t have to say anymore. I understand.

    After a moment of silence, I ask him another question. “What do you have to do?”
    “Report to Fyren.” he says, I can feel the dread in his voice.
    “What does that mean?” I ask, wanting to know but also knowing I won’t like the answer.
    “It means I’m going to have a night much like yours with Sethos.” I look at him, not knowing what emotion my face is portraying.

    “We better get going.” Kels says softly. Fluffy and I nod in silently agreement.

    We walk out of the slave quarters and into the ornate hallways. “Um, so where is the main hall?” I ask.
    “Where I took you the other day.” Kels replies. I shiver at the thought of that room, and what it led to.
    “I’ll take you there.” Fluffy says, “It’s on the way to Fyren’s room anyway.” The mood of everyone had gone from bad to horrible with a few looks at a piece of paper. With the simple writing of numbers and orders.

    We walk down the confusing hallways in silence. I try to keep up with the twists and turns of the decorated passages.
    Left, right, left, left, right, left, middle, right, right.

    I lose track before long and simply follow Fluffy and Kels. At some point Kels says her goodbyes and turns down the opposite side hallway than us.

    After a few more turns, we arrive in front of the same big double doors that I remember seeing from the day before. I look at them dreading what is on the other side.
    “Fluffy…” I say to the blonde neko.
    “Yeah.”
    “I don’t want to go in there.” I feel the tears fill my eyes and terror shudder through me.
    “I know,” he says hugging me. “But you have to. We all have to do what they tell us to. We can’t afford to do otherwise.”
    “I’m scared.” I say, the tears spilling from my eyes.
    “I know. We all are. But we have to learn to live through that fear.”

    I stand there in silence, and finally nod knowing he’s right. I can’t let the fear control me.

    Suddenly pain shoots through my head and my mind is somewhere else.

    “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!” I scream, running towards a woman whom I know is my mother. But it’s a younger me, a little girl.
    “What is it sweetie?” the woman replies picking up the younger me. She pulls down my Barbie pajama shirt.
    “I’m scared.” I tell her, holding onto her neck.
    “Now what could you be scared of?” she ask me, comforting me.
    “There’s a monster in there.” I say pointing to a room. I know it’s my bedroom, a new bedroom. We’ve just moved. Boxes still line the walls.
    “Well, we’ll just have to go and scare those monsters away then won’t we?” I nod, a smile forming slowly on my small mouth.


    And like that I’m back to reality, the memory gone. I try to remember it again, recounting the details. And memory, another small chunk of who I am. I picture my mother again. A soft smile, blonde hair like my own. The house, warm and cozy, despite the boxes.

    “Are you okay?” Fluffy asks.
    “Yeah, um. It was just a memory.”
    “Your past?” he asks, obviously interested. I nod.
    “No, I don’t remember much. Just… something from my childhood.” I answer before he asks.
    “And your name?”
    “Still have no clue.”

    He nods. “Well, you better get in there.” I nod, looking at the doors.
    “Be careful.” he tells me.
    “You too.” Fluffy nods, then walks down the hall.

    I stand in front of the doors, trying to build the courage to open them. Finally, I take a big breath and open the doors, walking inside the room.

    I look up and see Aeron sitting at the long table, in the same seat he was in before. He smirks and I look back at the ground before he can punish me for looking at him.

    “Ah, she’s finally here.” he says, the evil apparent in his voice.

    Terror fills my body yet again and I have a feeling death is in my near future.