• Richard sneezed. It was the last time he could have done so that week. No more sneezes were left on his sneeze card. “Crap,” he thought, as he glanced down at his expired plastic slip, granting him zero out of four sneezes for the week of the 13th to the 19th of March. “I sure hope I-”

    At that moment a fat lady wearing a pink short skirt passed in front of him. She smelled of cheap perfume that tickled Richard’s nose. He sneezed again, and the mall’s alarm went off. Police poles came running out of every shoe store, hat store, and fast food restaurant on the second floor. Richard stood still, to avoid being fatally crystalized. The police poles surrounded him, the commanding pole ordering him through a speaker to place his hands on his scalp. He did so, smashing his top hat slightly. The police shot a net over him, and bound it tightly around his slacks and tuxedo, making it impossible to move. Richard lost balance, and fell to the mall’s sleek polka-dotted floor. The police then lifted him via electro-duel magnets, and he floated across the floor, escorted by two robotic garbage cans with flashing lights on their tops.

    “Ugh, this isn’t fair!” cried Richard. “If only I hadn’t sneezed!” This caused more police to fly out of the same buildings again; his complaint card had expired several months ago.