• Blind by anger, Rayn dashes to her room, running into walls, tripping on rugs, it all didn't matter. She could feel no pain other than the cold sting within her own heart. " Never before have I been so ashamed of my child. I never thought it was possible. but you've prooved otherwise, Rayn. You truly are a useless, pethetic child I wished I would have aborted " Her mothers words stung in her ears.

    Reaching her room, she thrashed blindly for a pen and paper. She had to write..... She couldn't carve anymore...... She wanted to but knew she shouldn't...... She promised him she wouldn't cut herself anymore.

    Finding the pen and notebook, she began to write.
    She did it again today, said she was ashamed........ I don;t understand why. What have I done to make her hate me so? what sin did I commit? Why doesn't she love me????? WHY?? I've lived my life trying to make her see I DO have a purose. But she doesn't agree. In her eyes I have no meaning . I should not be alive....... Why?

    Maybe because I shouln't be

    I can't let go of this hatered in my heart..... This deep self loathing...... No. Not self. I do not hate myself, right? I mean, it possibly be my fault she hates me....... Or can it? Yes, it has to be. It IS my fault. If it wasn't way else would she curse my name as she does?