• tab "I didn't want to do it, but it had to be done. I couldn't let Mama stay with that b*****d. All his money would go to her head, just like Papa had said in my dream. And then she would start to hate me. And I couldn't let that happen. I did it, knowing it would break her heart. But I did it knowing that it was all for the best. I took that knife ma'am, I took it and I killed him.

    tab Mama was at the spa with her friends, and he was laying there on the sofa, napping. I was supposed to be at school, but I didn't go. I walked up to him, gripping the knife that I had hidden in my backpack. It reflected the sunlight, casting a glare on the wall. I flicked the knife around, which made the glare move too. I had always loved doing that. But I stopped. This wasn't the time for that.

    tab I looked down at his face. His brown eyes were closed, his brown curls spread out around his face. He was breathing slowly, deeply, and his lips twitched into a smile. 'Carrie...' he murmured. Anger flared up in me then. How dare he dream about my mother! I imagined with horror all the things he could be dreaming about. No! Never again! I thought. And then I stabbed him. Straight in the chest. Again. And again.

    tab 'Never! Touch! My! Mama! Again!" I screamed, stabbing him again with each word. 'I hate you! You should've stayed out of our lives!' I was screaming and crying, the knife slipping out of my hand, scarlet with his blood. Blood was splattered all over Mama's favorite sofa, all over the nice carpet. All over me. I looked down at myself, seeing the blood, feeling the warmth of it. And I retched. Violently. Another stain on the nice carpet. I didn't look at him. I couldn't.

    tab I felt dizzy, so I lay down on the carpet, in my own sick, and in his blood. Distantly, I heard the sound of sirens. Closer and closer. I was so tired. I wanted to sleep. But those dam-, excuse me, darn sirens! They were so loud! I hated it! I started crying. The sirens were really loud now. Right in front of the house. I heard noises. Voices. Who called the police? Probably a neighbor heard me screaming and thought there was some kind of domestic violence going on. They weren't all together wrong. There was a sudden pounding on the door. 'Open up!' they yelled. I was too tired to, so I said nothing. A loud splintering sound came from the door. What were they doing? And then I realized. They were breaking down the door.

    tab Fear hit me then. I deep fear, way down in the pit of my stomach. I became nauseus, but before I could throw up again, the police were there. They were all stopped at the sofa, horrified expressions frozen on their faces as they looked down at Dave.

    tab 'Holy crap....!' one cried. He stumbled out the room, pressing his hand to his mouth. A womancame up to me. She was very pale.

    tab 'What-what happened here young man?' she asked shakily. I stared at her. Couldn't she guess?

    tab 'I killed him.' I replied. 'And good riddance. He deserved what he got!' Soon, I had spilled out the whole story to them. They stared at me in horror, and the lady recoiled, scampering back to the others. How, I'm sure they wondered, could a thirteen year old boy from such a nice place have done such a thing? They didn't know anything! Suddenly, my hands were wrenched behind my back. What was going on? I heard a click. They were arresting me. They were gonna take me to jail! Only bad people went to jail! No, no, no! This wasn't supposed to happen! This wasn't a part of my plan! I started to sob as the cop talked. I knew what he was saying, and yet I could not comprehend.

    tab I was dragged outside and thrown into the police car. All the neighbors were watching, curious, and yet uncaring. I looked around. I had always wanted to ride one of these things. But not like this! No, never like this!

    tab 'Where's Mama!' I remember screaming, 'Mama! Why aren't you here! Where are you!' She didn't come. How could she, when she was at the spa? But she never came. Not even when they threw me in a cell, while I awaited my trial. She came the day of my trial, and of my sentencing. But she never spoke. Never acknowledged my silent pleas for forgiveness. She never answered my calls. The only things I heard from her were the packets of money she sent me. That was it. And even now those have stopped coming.

    tab And so ma'am, I've been alone here. No visitors for these past fifteen years or so. I've grown used to it, but, as you can imagine, I still ache for the arms of my mother. So, if you would please send this letter to her? It's really long, since I started it when I was only fifteen, but I want her to know that I still love her, and that I'm very sorry for what I did. That I only did what I thought was right at the time. Thank you ma'am. The guard says its time for me to go back to my cell, so I'll be leaving now. Thank you ma'am, for hearing me out. Have a wonderful day, and don't forget to send my letter please."

    tab I watched as the guard led Sean Dirkson out. He was still a child. I glanced down at the grubby letter, written over the span of more than a decade. I gathered up my papers, and walked out the door, thanking the guard who held it open. My heels clicked noisily against the tile floor. If only the poor boy knew that his mother had been dead these past ten years! I sighed. I knew though, that these dirty papers meant more to him than I could possibly know, and so I decided as I walked out, to lay this on her grave. It would give him some peace of mind. And that boy deserves it.