• I'd heard of the game many times from my friends but I never thought of playing it. Aleksei handed me the revolver. He smiled and whispered to me, "Don't worry Ivanna. Just take a deep breath and pull the trigger. It'll help."
    He'd played before. I looked at him and nodded. He must have insane luck to have lived so many times. The twenty-year-old had played at least five times. Fear was in my eyes. Anfisa, Aleksei's younger sister, explained the rules. Simple. i just had to spin the bullet holder, place it to my head, and pull the trigger. If I was lucky, I'd keep my life.
    There was no way out of it. I was going to have to do it. Maybe then Ivan would realize I was a little girl anymore. I spun it and placed the barrel against my forehead lightly. Do it Ivanna. He won't even know you did it. Unless you kill yourself anyway. Pull the trigger. Pull it...
    Raivis, Toris, and Eduard. How would they deal with it? Would they be okay? Would I ever see the pure white snow ever again? I closed my eyes tightly. If I don't do it now, how would my brother's captors think of me? I was torn between Raivis and them.
    You've made you decision. Do it, or you won't see Ivan ever again. They'll kill you. I pulled the trigger, just as Ivan came through the door. I felt cold, but not wet. I hadn't died. I lucked out of it. Then why was it so cold?
    "Ivanna... What the heck are you doing?!" I turned quickly to see an enraged Ivan walking toward Aleksei, Anfisa, and I. He pulled me away from them, pushing me onto the floor and glaring at the two terrified figures. This hadn't been part of there plan.
    "Looks like our little prisoner gets to live."Aleksei smiled demonically, completely different from earlier. "Or maybe not."
    Anfisa suppressed Ivan, holding him back. Aleksei held me closely and aimed a gun at my unconscious brother. I screamed his named, and pushed against his arms.
    "No! Not Raivis! Please! No!"

    Bang.

    Aleksei dropped me. His voice was viscous. "You're next. Too bad, you're so beautiful too. Such a loss." He pulled me back up and forced a kiss onto my lips. I fought him, but his grip was too strong. I felt tears fall down my face, and into a cut Aleksei had caused when he had grabbed me. Then I fell again.
    I hit the ground heavily. I shielded my face from him. I was going to let them see. I heard a loud thump and a large commotion. I pulled my face up and saw Ivan throwing Aleksei to the ground. Anfisa had been knocked out cold just moments before.
    "Don't you ever touch Ivanna like that. You're going to pay for what you've done." Ivan bashed Aleksei in the head with a faucet pipe. Blood splattered the floor and Ivan. He stood slowly and moved Anfisa to an other room. He covered Aleksei's corpse and pulled me to him. Tears poured out again.
    "Raivis... He's gone... Raivis is gone and it's all my fault! I should have dies not him... That should be me..." I buried my face into Ivan. He hushed me and stroked my now bloody hair.
    "It isn't your fault. You tried..."
    "No, it is my fault! Don't you get it?! If I had died, they would have kept Raivis alive! The bullet was there, but it didn't come out!! I should have died not him! It's my fault!" I pushed away and ran out into the cold. Ivan called after me but I just ran.

    I don't know when or where it was, but I collapsed into the snow. The cold didn't bother me until the wind blew. I hugged myself closely. This isn't how it should be...
    "Ivan! I found her!" I couldn't move to run away, I just laid there. Strong arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me up to something, or someone, warm. I didn't want to go. I wanted to stay there.I didn't want to live now, I wanted my baby brother.
    "I'm not losing you yet Ivanna. Not now..." The exhaustion was getting to me. I felt something wet drip onto my face. Slowly, there were more wet substances on my face. Ivan must have been crying. I reached up weakly and wiped a tear away. My hand dropped back to my chest. A slow warmth covered my body. I fell asleep against my will.

    Don't die Ivanna! Please don't die, I still need you here! Don't die...Tears came in my sleep. Ivan still needed me but I don't think I could stand it... My sleep was restless. I'm sorry Raivis, but I have to stay with him...

    There was no way out of this.