• In a shocking move that surprised everyone, Santa Claus was fired today by the Heads of The Random Magical Beings Department, Rania Crescent and Mira Lane. When asked why Miss Lane replied that "Santa Claus is a hazard to children everywhere."
    This comment follows the twenty-seven deaths that the jolly old man caused whilst coming down chimneys this Christmas.
    "Children keep looking up the chimney all night waiting for Santa!" Head elf of Santa's workshop, James Herold, defended the popular gift giver. "They stick their heads in the Chimney and Santa cannot see them when he is coming down!"
    The Random Magical Beings Department (The RMBD) has agreed that this may be the case, however they still stand firm on their position. "The statistics are against him." Miss Crescent argues. "Twenty-seven deaths are not good. We are talking about carpet stains here, have you ever tried to clean blood out of carpets? It's a nightmare."
    As a replacement for Santa Claus, Jack Skellington (Tim Burton's Nightmare before Christmas) has been hired to deliver next years gifts to the children of the world. This has been met with some skepticism as Mr. Skellington has also been responsible for a number of deaths."Only four children died, and of dehydration too, the last time he did the round." Comments Miss Crescent, referring to the time in 1984 when Santa was too sick to go out and deliver the gifts so sent Mr. Skellington in his stead."He keeps the children in bed through pure fear. He's promised to eat their livers if they get out of bed, even if it is for a drink of water." Miss Lane adds.
    Santa Claus will be tried in Supreme Court with Judge Arthur Lincoln, who is known for his fairness and good looks but not for his compassion.
    "Santa will win this court case" Head elf and now Santa's lawyer, Mr. Herold confidently stated, but the public is not so sure of this. No one has gone up against Miss Crescent and Miss Lane and come out victorious.
    The jolly old man himself was unavailable for an interview, but Northpole News hopes to get an interview with him later on after the trial.

    Reporter Halo Cyan