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Two men stood in a cramped room; one sat upon a bed stuffing a backpack already near bursting with supplies. The other stood to the side shaking his head. “Do you at least have an ethical problem with I mean think about what you are planning on doing.” Eric fumed, “I mean really think about this.”
“Why would I have an ethical problem with it?” Stephen replied stuffing a medkit into his back pack. “I mean it isn’t like I am trying to punch out a bald eagle or like a baby kangaroo I am fighting a bear.”
“Okay maybe ethical is not the right way to describe it. Do you have some kind of mental deficiency?” Stephen would not dignify that with a response. ”I mean think about your last statement.” Of course Stephen had thought about it. He had pictured the scene almost fanatically in his head since he was a child. It would take place in an arena with a thousand people cheering on this valiant gladiator of a man. His every movement deadly that was why he was not permitted to walk places. Too deadly. The bear a massive lumbering beast rippling with muscle would lumber through the portcullis. A hush would fall over the crowd. The fight would be great lasting forty days and forty night before finally a victor would emerge and as the dust settled they would see slain bear and their hero.
“I am a gladiator and hero of the people the meat of the beast shall keep them fed for a generation!” Stephen blurted out raising his fist in the air and pumping it up and down for good measure. Making sure to flex his bicep to emphasize the sheer rugged manliness that they were dealing with.
“You weigh a hundred and twenty pounds and I am pretty sure a bear ways more than your car.” Eric folded his arms across his chest and sighed. “Stop pumping your fist it does not make you look tough.”
“A hundred and twenty pounds comprised of only sheer warrior instinct and berserker death rage.” The fist pumping continued much to the chagrin of the one named Eric. “Besides we are taking your car I can’t get bear blood on my seats that stuff would never wash out.”
“It isn’t bear blood that I am worried about and why exactly am I escorting you to this place?”
“This place is sketchy man I need some one to have my back.” He tried the zipper of the backpack the thing would not budge. “Besides have you seen some of the people who hang out there? I mean they are fighting bears like all day something wrong with them.”
“Do you even hear yourself when you talk? You are planning on fighting a bear like you have been actively paying someone to teach you how to fight bears which I am not entirely sure is actually a thing!” Eric snatched the bag out of Stephen’s hands and zipped it up.
“There is a difference between them and myself they do it for pleasure and I do it for the glory of battle!” He shouted standing up straight and slinging the backpack of his shoulder. “Now lets go before we get into a debate whether Bear Maga is a legitimate self defense or not.”
They stepped into the vehicle and slowly backed out of the driveway. Eric was delaying the inevitable Stephen of course knew that this would be the tactic that he chose. “How do I even get to this place?”
“It is the huge thunderdome looking place that they just put in you really can’t miss it.” For a moment he paused, “that is not a satisfactory enough description of that glorious arena.” He took a deep breath.
“Oh boy here we go do you mind if I kind of just tune you out for awhile? I don’t think it matters since you are going to talk anyway.”
“It is now mere arena Erica you see it is The Arena. The place to end all battles a five hundred foot tall dome made of steel and ringed with fire! A crowd so massive that you hear their cheers for blood miles around and the beasts are of legend! I do not battle in some pitiful colliseum I battle no holds bear’d.”
“Were here.” Eric said flatly turning off the car and stepping out. Deftly pulling the handle before the traitorous comrade could lock it Stephen rolled out of the car and onto the cold pavement of the parking lot. Surveying his surrounding like a real warrior he found the lot oddly spacious. “Is it always like this?”
“I..I am not entirely sure I mean it looked impressive.” The Arena was dark. No lights and no line; Stephen’s morale was sinking fast. He needed to keep the burning warrior spirit raging inside of himself. He ran to the entrance a sign was taped to the front of it. “Closed due to inhumane practices!? They deny my right to battle!?”
“Not everyone is as big a fan about fighting animals as you are.” A cold gust blew through the air. “Maybe this is a sign that you need to give this up.”
Stephen nodded his head, “yes, I agree with you wholeheartedly on this matter. I sought glory and respect from the others from the crowd. I must battle for myself for my honor and glory!” He dropped the backpack onto the ground and shouted to the heavens. “I shall face my beast in its home! I shall face it where danger faces me on all sides! I shall fight in the forest!”
“Not the point I was trying to make.”
- by Ollie Holmes |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 09/20/2012 |
- Skip
- Title: Bear Room Brawl
- Artist: Ollie Holmes
- Description: Who wouldn't want a story about a dude who wants to fight a bear.
- Date: 09/20/2012
- Tags: bear room brawl fighting
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