• Dearest Bluejay,



    I could never figure out where to begin. And how.

    But today, these emotions come from the deepest core of my being, the place where no one but you could reach.



    I agree, I was good at every darn thing in this frigging world that made you upset.

    I was always so lost gazing upon the sea, admiring the winds and waves that I totally forgot about the pearl in my hand, which slipped a bit away at every growing second of my ill deeds.



    I completely forgot that it was your presence which had turned me from a broken shard to a complete me.

    Because of you, my heart could sing again, taste the flavors of emotion again and love deeply once again.



    But it was my carelessness that made the glass fall down and break.

    It was only when I sat down and felt the painful edges of the cracks with my hands that I realised how selfish I had been.

    The glass had always carried my reflection in it but such an idiot I was, that I seldom bothered to gaze in it.



    I had once broken your heart before, since I was too weak to fight my way back to you.

    I had allowed my mind to lock away my feelings in a prison with walls so high, I couldn't escape.

    But I did, because I longed for your embrace.

    And I'm weaker now. After that one miserable day, I never had enough strength to face those walls again.



    I'm sorry things didn't go the way they should have, for the last couple of days.

    But I have woven you so nicely into the fabric of my life that I just can't throw that cloth away.

    You are that strength carrying me through the wilderness, holding me in your arms, protecting me from the horrors ahead.

    As one, we could overcome the obstacles that had crippled those before us, who had made the same promise that we struggle so harshly to keep.



    I don't care about what people would say, I'm not afraid of silly rumours.

    I just want you to know, I love you so much, It hurts.

    And when you don't talk to me the way you used to, I feel helpless, broken.



    Fate might lead us to different ends of the world in the years to come, far apart from you.

    Now is the time when we ought to be together, Bluejay.

    Right now.



    I want the old, unchanged you back.

    I love you heart