Snowy Woods

• Artist: Devilish Lil Flower13
• Description: My Language arts teacher gave me a 85% on this so my grade for this nine weeks is a C. Why didnt she give me a 100%? That might of bumed it up to a low B maybe. Tell me what you think of my descriptive writing report.
• Date: 01/05/2009
• Tags: snow woods descriptive cold sadness

The calm forest stood still in icy elegance, painted in colors of white and

black. Frost covored Christmas pines stood pround and high above the

ground as frail snow flakes slowly danced down to the frozen blanket of

snow below the branches. Faintly, a dry crisp wind whispered through the

lanky trees, playfully tossing up some snow, and swerved in and out of the

trees then the crystals were blown further into the forest. The branches

swayed as if waving goodbye to the snow that once covered its limbs. Farther

and farther away the wind carried the frost untill it reached a misty river, and

the pattered flakes that settled into the chilled water then floated out of the

glitering forest.

-x-

OMG how did I get a 85%!! crying

Comments

[Swankypotato]

- patterned flakes settled into the icy water. There, they floated away from the glittering forest. "
Hopefully this helps you for writing any future poems or literary pieces.

[Swankypotato]

"The calm forest stood still in icy elegance, painted in colors of white and black. Frost-covered Christmas pines stood proud above the ground as frail snowflakes slowly danced onto the frozen blanket beneath the trees. Faintly, a dry crisp wind whispered through the lanky trees, playfully tossing up some snow as it swerved through in and out, creating a dance among the frost-covered branches.
Farther and farther away, the wind carried the snow until it reached a misty river, where the patterned

[Swankypotato]

Constructive Critique: It's very good, but the grade I can somewhat understand the current 85% depending on what grade level this is aimed for.
For it to run smoother, I would condense it, correct any grammar and spelling errors, and try to make it flow a bit better.
I, personally, really love the concept of it and most of the wording. But there are some spots that feel a tad repetitive.

[ClownGirl Jester]

This is awesome! i'd have given you a 90% - 100% if i were ur teach!

[Devilish Lil Flower13]

7th grade

[TEWG]

I would've given you about 90% or more for this. Well depending on what grade you are, that is.

[polarice264]

Pretty cool hotstuff!