• My thoughts continue even today as I contemplate many forms of death suicide homicide genocide. These thoughts passed through my mind for 4 years homicidal rampages genocide on many different groups suicide to prevent it all. The first 3 of those years I was twisted and corrupt. I contemplated these but every time a moral in my head stopped me and forced me to "take a break" you could say. The second of those years was one of the more stranger I remember a day at a rural speed way. A man announced for a moment of silence for a man whose grasp on life was unfairly torn away, but instead of participating in the moment of silence I laughed and looked up cursing the sky. The third year went the same as the last and the first. but the 4th was different the 4th was when I finally turned my back on society and looked to other alternatives to being happy chili pepper high, porn, and a many other things. This was the year I almost killed myself this state of depletion continued until recently. until I found the power and enjoyment of life a life I hadn’t seen since my elementary days such a happy time, only this time was different I had that hallow of happiness that comes to choke me every now and then when it does I’m back in my room enjoying what I have in life and dreaming about the things I will never obtain because I have no compromise to make up for a flaw