• It’s that time of your life now when all the pieces are sewn together and something suddenly snaps inside your heart and soul. The voice inside your head suddenly cries out a loud and astounding – STOP!

    It’s enough. It’s enough of all the fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. Like an infant falling asleep due to fatigue after a blind tantrum, your sobs and despairs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, blink back your tears and close your eyes and rest your wet lashes. When you open your eyes again, you realize that you are seeing the world through new eyes.

    This is your dawn and awakening.

    You finally realize that it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change. You stop waiting for the happiness, safety and security to suddenly rain from the sky.

    You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella.

    You realized that the real world is not a fairy tale. The beginning certainly does not guarantee a ‘happily ever after’. But in the process, magic is played; you develop a sense of security that is born from acceptance.

    You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect, nobody is. You see that not everyone will always love, appreciate, or approve of who or what you are, and that is okay. Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinions and views after all. You learn the importance of loving, championing and praising yourself; in the process, a sense of newfound confidence is born of self-approval.

    You decide to stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you or didn’t do for you. From this, you learn that the only thing you can really rely on is the unexpected.

    You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say. Not everyone will always be there for you and there are roads you must stumble upon by yourself. It’s not always about you. Thus, you learn to stand on your own, and to take care of yourself and in the process, a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

    You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties. In the process of this all, a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

    You realize that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you is as a result of all the messages and opinions that you have carved into you psyche.

    You start digging though and reorganizing all of the worries about how you should behave, how you should look, and how much you should weigh. This comes along with what you should wear and where you should shop, what you should drive, how and where you should live, what you want to do, whom you truly love, and what you owe your parents.

    You start to open up to new worlds and different viewpoints. You begin reassessing and redefining who you truly are and what you really stand for.

    You see and learn the difference between what you only want and what you truly need. You begin to discard and scratch out the principles and values you’ve outgrown, or should’ve never has brought into your life to begin with. Through this process, you learn to go with your instincts.

    You discover that it is truly in giving that we receive. There is power and glory in creating and contributing. You stop walking through life as only a ‘consumer’ and looking for your next fix.

    You understand that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of an ancient era, but the mortar that holds together the structure upon which you must build a life.

    You grasp the reality of how you don’t know everything and it’s not your job to save the world or teach a pig to sing.

    You learn to distinguish between guilt, responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries. And most importantly, you learn and understand the meaning of NO and how to say it.

    You see that the only burden you have to bear is the one you choose to carry and only martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you finally learn the truth of love, romantic and familial love. You finally learn how to love, how much you need to give to love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project you needs or your feelings onto a relationship.

    You come to the fact that you are not more beautiful, intelligent, more lovable or important because of the people that surround you.

    You learn to see relationships, not only romantic ones, as they really are and not as you would have them to be.

    You learn to stop trying to control people situations and outcomes.

    You acknowledge that fact that just as people grow and change, friendship and love does too. You learn that you do not have to right to demand a friend or lover on your terms to make you happy. You realize that alone does not mean lonely. When you look in the mirror and come to the fact that you do not look perfect and will not look perfect.

    You stop working excruciatingly hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things into order and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are fine.

    You realize that your body is really your temple and you begin to take care of it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. You take more time to rest. Also, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. You learn to take more time to laugh, play and enjoy life.

    You learn to try to think positive and try to believe that for the most part in life, you get what you deserve and that much of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

    You awaken to the fact that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working hard towards making it happen. Money doesn’t fall out of the sky. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance.

    You finally comprehend that no one can do it all alone and that it is fine and totally acceptable to ask for help. You see that the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right in and through your fears because you know now that whatever happens, you can overcome it. Giving in to fear is like giving away the right to live life on your own terms. You learn to fight for your life and not surrender it so that you can live under a cloud of impending doom.

    You come to acknowledge the fact that life isn’t always fair. You don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting good people. On these occasions, you learn not to think negatively about life. You understand that god isn’t punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It’s just the reality of life itself.

    You learn to deal with evil in its most primal state, pride and the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will snuffle the life out of you and poison the universe around you. You learn to admit when you are wrong. Finally, you start to build bridges instead of walls.

    You learn to be more thankful and take in the comfort of the simple things that we take for granted. These are many things that millions of people upon Earth can only dream about: a refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm blanket and bed, a long hot shower, meals three times a day. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself and by yourself. You make yourself promise to never betray yourself and settle for less than your heart’s desire.

    You hang a wind chime outside the window so you can listen to the wind. You make it a point to keep smiling, keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility in life. Finally, with courage your heart and spirit in your soul, you can take a stand. You take a deep breath and you begin to design the life that you want so that you can live the best that you can.

    This is the best present you can get. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.