Perfect

• Artist: Iheartrizzoli
• Description: A poem about an angel who was so beautiful you fell in love with her at first sight. Unfortunately, She isn't to keep, because she came from the heavens above.
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Date: 07/17/2008
• Tags: faerie angel perfect beautiful

Her eyes lit up, emerald green,

the brightest ones that i'd ever seen.

a faerie so pure, with a heart full of gold,

I'd give my own soul, to have her to hold.

Forgive me I'm sorry, I think I'm in love,

but God must have sent her from heaven above.

An angel so perfect, I wish she were mine,

I gazed at that halo as it continued to shine.

Comments

[bad3p2]

there you have it smile btw, thx for voting me lol xD i gave u 5.. ur poem touched my heart lol xD

[Iheartrizzoli]

thank you for the comments, I'm not upset, I take constructive criticism well, so it's ok. I'll probably submit more poems in the future. Thanks,

=3 v_r_angel1

[Lord_Aubrey_Shade]

Avoid common rhyming words, especially "heaven above." And I am not sure about the mixed concept of God sending faeries; usually faeries defy God in every way possible.
You have good language, other than the rhyming. But don't let me upset you; rhyming poems irk me a little. However, I like the first and last two lines and their rhymes.

[DarkRose2980]

great poem! Its really neat. It rhymes too! 5 *****
oh, and FIRST COMMENT!!!!!!!!!! WHOOOOOO! lol biggrin