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The soft silky sand warming my toes as the cold water takes me away from my never land. The smooth gray gentle sand hugs me as I get up .The salty breeze blowing my long brown hair from its original place. Feeling free I lift my arms and close my eyes surrendering to the wind and pretend to soar high up into the crisp blue sky, flying away.
*shiver* the tide is coming in, intercepting my dream. “I’ll be back soon,” I say while I turn and start to walk away. As I step I hear my friends the sea and the wind sing in unison there goodbyes and the silky sand stays with me until the sun sets.
- Title: lovely friends...
- Artist: bcca94
- Description: this is something i wiped up while i was longing to go to the beach... i worked hard on this so i hope you all like it! =)
- Date: 07/27/2008
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Comments (3 Comments)
- ilovepink1984 - 09/26/2008
- Great
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- Summer Fallwinterspring - 09/26/2008
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It was pretty good up until the astericks. Cut them out. Also, you used some words twice- "silky," for one, and you used "fly" two times in one sentence. Also, you need a comma after "I'll be back soon." In fact, there are several places that you need commas, and I think you need to go into physical description of the landscape.
PS- if you delete this because you simply do not like my critiques, I will be very angry indeed. It is the mark of a poor writer to not listen to other people's ideas - Report As Spam
- xxsakura_lavenderxx - 07/27/2008
- nice 80 ot of 100 lol but............ to short for me lol but i still like et
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