To Mark

• Artist: Veggiee Burger
• Description: Didnt write it
  Helloo KiKi hacked me and wrote
  it.....:o naughty naughty!
• Date: 11/29/2008
• Tags: mark

mark oh mark
so handsome and smart
i would do anything to win your heart

your eyes are brown
but when im around you their blue
oh how i wish you would think the same way too

love is a strong word and i understand
from being in kindergarden with you, and
now hoping one day i can hold your hand

i wish you would reconize me when i pass by
and how your hair glows in the sun, i just want to cry

Comments

[Helloo KiKi]

oh em gee
hahaha srry ppl i posted
it surprised im naughty surprised

[Nikki4815]

not bad. I'll give you a 3/5, because it could use a little bit of editing. Rate back? My entry is called "Unspoken Message"

[Kieko0001]

uhm okay you feel like you love someone whom it seems you never talk to and met in kindergarden? It's kinda creepy to me but w/e any ways the longer sentances arent doing good for the poem..shorten them up a little.

[bigster11]

omg-ur-in-love-with-him
0-0

[whitejade13]

Well this poem is actually very funny though i know it was not intended to be. You see a guy just broke up with me and his name is Mark and i've been seeing his name eveywhere and it is really very annoying since i hate is guts. Hmmm.... Maybe i'll write a poem about it....

[SakuraIchigoRyu]

mmm, not bad. Try to make it flow a little better though. Shorten some words even if you use a little slang, nothing too major it just feels a bit choppy.