• Time after time
    I’ve set myself up
    To get my heart
    Shattered
    Destroyed
    Torn to shreds
    This time
    Though
    I thought I had a chance.
    I love you
    He told me.
    I love you too
    My easy response
    Lying to myself
    To believe what he said
    Not ‘just friends’
    As he seemed to intend
    Not even a week
    After our last night
    Spent with each other
    Not even a week
    After he kissed me
    Not even a week
    After he told me how much he loves me
    Not even a day
    After our last argument
    About who loves the other
    More
    The daily argument
    About fireman’s devotion
    And however much I love him
    Not even an hour
    After he told me he loves me
    He’s ‘with’ another girl
    They’ve kissed
    Held hands
    They’re ‘official’
    He had the balls
    To make a call
    To tell me directly
    He didn’t hide
    Behind the technological mask
    That would’ve saved him time
    And would’ve kept him
    From having to listen to my lies
    I set myself up
    To have my heart broken
    I know it.
    I hate it
    But what can I do?
    I love you
    He told me
    Why wouldn’t I believe him?
    Time after time
    He uttered those words
    Time after time
    I felt my hear skip a beat
    Time after time
    That smile graced
    This average
    Ugly
    Terrifying face
    I still love him
    No matter how stupid it sounds
    But
    My heart is breaking
    He almost hears my nearly silent cries
    They prompted him
    To apologize
    I know he’s not sorry
    He’s happy to have her
    Apologies are only as real as the emotion behind them
    And obviously
    His
    Weren’t totally true.
    He told me
    As a joke
    Not to mess this up.
    Three times I told him,
    Just how I felt
    Still
    He found it in his heart
    To fall for another
    And not care about the damage
    The scar he would cause
    I don’t know what to say
    So I do what I do best
    When my heart is breaking
    I lie
    Not telling him
    The aching throb in my chest
    Not telling him
    The sudden mess
    That’s taken over my life
    Not telling him
    How much it hurts
    Not telling him
    The truth
    Suddenly the one
    On whom I could always rely
    The one who I trusted
    The one who I loved
    Suddenly…
    Is gone
    My heartache going unnoticed
    To the one
    Once thought to care most
    Suddenly
    All that I’ve done
    To bring happiness
    To both of our lives
    None of it matters
    He doesn’t see the tears of pain
    Or hear the crack in my voice
    I listen silently
    As he tells me all that happened
    ‘You’re still my best friend’
    He assures me
    As I lay there
    Terrified
    That I’m going to lose him
    What kind of girl
    Lets her boyfriend
    Be so close
    To a girl like me
    She’ll tear us apart
    And I’m scared
    That he’ll let her.
    He ‘likes’ her.
    Which ranks her
    Above me
    What does she have that I don’t?
    I want to ask
    What makes her different?
    What makes her better?
    Why am I,
    The one that’s been there for him
    The one that
    ‘changed him for the better’
    And the one that helped make him
    ‘happier than ever’
    Why am I cast aside?
    Why don’t I matter?
    What’s so different,
    Between her and me?
    I’m the one that stayed up late
    To help him through
    The struggles in life
    I’m the one that heard his cries
    I’m the one that stood by his side
    I tried
    I truly did.
    When he spoke
    Those awful
    Dreaded words
    Part of me died
    Being there
    Doing what I could
    Being the best friend I could be
    Doing whatever he needed from me
    It wasn’t enough
    And now
    Now he’s gone
    To an extent
    At least
    Something tells me
    She won’t appreciate
    The fact that I still love him
    Or that I still want him back
    Something tells me
    This isn’t going to end well
    And I bet
    Mine will be the chest to ache
    Mine will be the heart to break.
    I will be the one
    That goes through hell
    I’ll be the one
    Who never wants to tell
    I’ll be the one
    Hiding behind laughter
    I’ll be the one
    Using my distance to cover up pain
    I’ll be the one
    Who goes into hiding
    The one who
    Grows distant
    The one who is scared
    The one who can’t lose him
    Though we’ll be torn apart
    His girlfriend before me
    That’s how it’ll go.
    And in my fear
    I don’t know
    What I’ll do
    Or what I’ll say
    Or how I’ll ever face him
    I don’t want
    Him to see
    What exactly
    He did to me
    And yes
    I’ll be the one
    Who mourns the most
    When separation
    Starts to take hold
    I can’t expect sympathy
    No one else cares
    All my friends are gone
    I drifted
    When I fell for him
    And now
    I’m suffering
    And I’ll be alone
    I’ll be the one
    The miserable one
    The one who can’t stand to be seen
    It’ll be me
    Who hides my face
    It’ll be me
    Who lies to the world
    It’ll be me
    Who falls once again
    It’ll be me
    Crushed in the end.
    Even though I don’t want it,
    I know that
    It’ll be me
    Whose heart he again steals
    Though he doesn’t know it.
    Mine will be the one he steals
    And it’ll be me
    Whose heart never heals