• Losing Myself
    6-4-09


    I'm slowly lsing balance
    Afraid I'm gonna fall
    My mind is gone, it doesn't have a chance
    It's so hard for me to stand tall

    I'm losing you in the distant crowd
    My heart is ice when you walk by
    I'm silent but my ache is turned up loud
    It's only when your not around, that I cry.

    I force a smile everytime you & him entertwine
    My jealousy, my darkest secret; I confide
    We've drifted apart; no longer combined
    It's always 'him' first and me on the side

    I used to know you so well; you with those eyes
    You had me hypnotized; my first love
    I see the world in you so why the lies?
    You're on the grind but you're potential is from above

    My heart broke in half; I had to decieve you
    The talk over ran my heart and everything real
    The only one who really loved me; and I loved you
    All because of your race.....i hurt you and pain is all you feel

    A 32 year difference; you're like my twin
    It's like you can read my mind; feel my pain
    But you're a world away from me; I can't win
    I want to understand you, but its not my gain.

    I miss you with each hour, I can't lie
    Your long lost embrace is still felt
    Just to see you now brings a tear to my eye
    Seeing your pain makes me melt

    As I think back to the past, I weep.
    I thought you were my hero but you broke our hearts
    You wanted your pleasure; such a quiet creep
    In my eyes, you've torn this family apart

    It's my life you're trying to write
    Never my choice; dilemma over race and how wise
    My decisions and happiness never considered; it's not right
    For once, I dont want to hear you criticize

    And I'm losing myself in my thoughts and relationships
    My soul is out of it and my mind free falling
    God will help come to peace with my heart and hardships
    For I hear my future calling.