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Lay your cards down
On the table of life
Draw your next hand
And lay your life on the line
Listen to the broken sobs
Of the girl next to you
Maybe someday you'll
Be like that too
Listen to the broken
Their pitiful screams crying out
Their lives taken
By that Dealer lout
Lay your cards out
Promise that you will never die
Promise that you will never break
Promise that you'll do everything to stay alive
- by SafiiriMaagi |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 09/15/2009 |
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- Title: Dealer
- Artist: SafiiriMaagi
- Description: I wrote this after playing Blackjack here on Gaia. But the context has to do with my personal view on God. I apologize in advance if I offend anyone.
- Date: 09/15/2009
- Tags: dealer religion
- Report Post
Comments (4 Comments)
- Uriel Ledon - 09/22/2009
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Overall, superb. Except that one irksome line. 4/5
Please read my poem! - Report As Spam
- Uriel Ledon - 09/22/2009
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All really good. Only two issues. You repeat words and most importantly
Get rid of the line "On the table of life." It's cheesey and anyone could have come up with it. Replace it or just put "On the __(insert adjective)____ table" or something like that. - Report As Spam
- Channon Jerusalem - 09/22/2009
- Thats awesome, even though I personally don't believe whole heartedly in any god.
- Report As Spam
- Artemis812 - 09/19/2009
- Cool!
- Report As Spam
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