• The feeling inside me, I cannot describe
    I'm falling inside this place.
    I look in the mirror and all i can see
    Is someone else's face.
    The voice in my head is all of my own,
    But not the one i use.
    The shape of my chest, the grip of my hands;
    A reminder of what God refused.
    The gleam in my eyes is naught but a mask
    It hides what dwells within.
    The memories of past and the hatred of self;
    Just one place that I've been.
    Something replaces what should exist,
    And denies me my rights in life;
    Or, perhaps this feeling is only a curse
    To plague me in the night.
    During the day I walk amongst
    Those who know their place
    But I? Not I. I wouldn't know,
    For I have none to face.
    None to confide in none to protect
    No one to break my fall.
    But why should I deserve such a gift,
    When I'm an enigma to all?
    What you see is not my face.
    Nobody knows but me.
    If only I could erase myself
    And re-draw somebody who's free.
    Free of the torment, free of this life
    That haunts my waking hours.
    Only when I'm fast asleep
    Do I ever have God's powers.
    What do I do inside my mind,
    While my eyes are shut so tight?
    I envision a boy where a girl once stood;
    No, a man in every right.
    Again I say "Look into that mirror.
    Tell me what you envision?
    Do you see the person you are,
    Or do you experience concision?"
    Whichever the case, it's who you are.
    You needn't be ashamed;
    However the horrors of a purely split soul,
    Cause a lifelong wave of pain.
    I would know, unlike most
    However there are some.
    Who know that their body and mind are torn,
    And never shall be one.
    Amen. Amen I say to you,
    Thou Holy Lord above.
    For someone who created me.
    I find you hard to love.
    For what manner of parent or savior; at that,
    Could torture their own child
    By splitting their soul and body apart,
    Thier mind confused and wild?
    I do not speak of blasphemy
    I say that to you here.
    But still i wonder, you don't make sense
    To make a transgendered queer?
    Not only did you tear me apart,
    You had to confuse me more,
    As a "sh-im" who is trapped within female desire
    Putting me further at war.
    Thus I may never experience love
    From those I want and need.
    For whatever the case, as a woman in face
    A true man I'll never be.