Lysdexic Masses

• Artist: SilvertongueSagittarius
• Description: Another NaPoWriMo poem from a few days ago.
• Date: 04/12/2010
• Tags: lysdexic masses

Is it youthful ambition that fuels me
and has me ready with a new poem every April morning,
at least a few hours ahead of Henzbo
without fail
systematically, I write in red ink
irradically, I continue to think
about snapped ideals and crooked paths that brought me
to this place
and they drip slowly from the tip of a broken Bic onto a ripped leaf of paper
and the radiation i project into the brains of an eager audience
is as toxic as chinese toothpaste
but if you take it in small doses, it'll give you superpowers
and not those walk-on-walls, talk-to-fish ones,
but the power to inspire
and cause this whole state to perspire even more than usual
So maybe if I give you a transfusion of talent, it'll be enough
to make the ground shake between us
and if I trade you a drop of my passion
for an ounce of your lyrical skill,
maybe we could do something worth doing
because currently, we are pleading poetry to the "lysdexic" masses
to no avail
so let's set sail to something better
this race will be a close one
without original beauty to replace original sin,
the finish line will diminish what's mine and yours
we are so far off course
my initial point was that a cage will only make a lion lazy
and that just an inch of leash can transform a maltese into a rottweiler
if that puppy can muster the courage to take a mile
So I leave you with this:
are you the maltese,
or a lioness?

Comments

[Echo Ligeia]

Also, some punctuation would be helpful; not flow-hindering periods and commas, but question marks and exclamation marks would give the reader a clue as to your intonation. For example, your first line was a question, but I wondered where the question went, if you know what I mean. But all of these edits are optional. Otherwise, I have no suggestions; the subject matter was poignant, and the diction and rhythm worked together seamlessly. Very well done. smile

[Echo Ligeia]

I liked this poem very much. The diction was exotic, the rhythm was smooth, and there were enough cultural references to make it relevant. I do wonder at your comment "My initial point was that a cage will only make a lion lazy " when your true initial point at the start of your poem described how your youthful ambition encouraged you to be structured and consistent - and therefore productive. It seems to contradict your later statement. I'm getting cut of, one second...