• Yeah, I've changed a hell of a lot. It's a bit scary.
    I know my heart's in the right place, but I can't seem to find what I'm looking for.
    The problem is . . . I don't know what I'm looking for exactly.
    Sometimes I think I go crazy. Not physically. I don't go around taking my anger out on other people or things.
    I think I go crazy mentally. I just break down crying over the stupidest things. sometimes for no apparent reason at all.
    And I can't help but argue. It's not that it's intentional, but I just can't help it.
    Oh, it hit me now. I think I know what I'm looking for.
    I'm trying to find myself.
    I don't know if it's because all the bull I get for being so messed up.
    I don't really know if I can do this at all.
    Sometimes I feel utterly defeated. But, of course, I keep going.
    Yes, at points I feel like my only option is to die. Seriously, though, I know I'm exaggerating.
    Sometimes music gets me through things. The down side of that is most music is about being in love, broken hearts, love at first site.
    I don't have that. I mean, I thought I used to, but I realized that I was only caught up in the moment.
    I never really was in love. After all, I didn't know, and still don't know, what love exactly is.
    "Just be yourself."
    How can I? I don't know who I am, I want to yell back. I end up just saying, "All right."
    I start to question a lot of things. About myself. About other people. About my life. About life in general. About religion. About pretty much everything.
    At this point, I don't know a lot about any of that. But that's normal, right?
    I'll get through this. I know that. And I'm sure of it.