Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

For the record. I wrote all of this as it occured with the dates. I didn't mess with this diary journal thing I found on my computer at all. I don't know why I wrote the swear words as well.. I guess it was to get rid of the aggresion I had bottled up in real life, so I will alter my journal a tad... And to My Chelsie, if you read this, remember I was really really pissed last year and don't mean a thing of what I wrote, so I appologize to you now if you read this. My Chelsie is an awesome person. Last year, her brain was ransacked by aliens.. they held it hostage for an entire summer.

March 27 2006
Have you ever seen, or heard of for that matter the play Wicked? It is soo awesome! You need to see it! You also know who is hot? Guys named Dylan. I know this dude, and he is the hottest creature that has ever breatherd on this planet! He will be mine, I refuse to give him to the whores that want him... he deserves better. Those hazel eyes and young Orlando Bloomish look, deservess better. He needs a girl who will not desert him, like Tiffany, his ex- another heart breaking whore. I mean seriously, who breaks up with a three year relationship on their anniversery, using him only to go to the prom! That is retarded. He deserves a girl like me. I mean, I know that he is a flirt. A b**** named Salonee said I have no chance in hell with him. Sure, he is about a year older and lives two hours away, and is the hottest guy in his grade... is it really my fault that he goes to a private school that only has about tweleve students per grade level. Anywhoo, he deserves true girls that care about him... a girl with deep blue eyes, reddish brown hair, pure milky white skin, not completely hopeless with looks, and who is loving, gentle, kind, not a b****y whore, and not a poseuer. Man I am sleepy, I wish Dyaln would notice that I love him... but no, he is a teenager that is a bit wrapped in his life, man I really am sleepy, so buh-by!

April 21 2006
I forgot to write for the past few days, well, about a month. Not much has happened. Practice for the WIzard of Oz. I am happy, for I made a friend. Her name is Ashley. Both of her siblings are in the play as well. Nicole was in the hospital with a 106 degree fever. She thinks I may be anemic, I won't get the results of this blood test yet. I was having dizzy spells on Easter, April 16th.
Oh yeah, my brother doesn't beileve in the Easter bunny anymore. Its sorta sad. The other folks, Santa & Tooth Fairy, are kapoot now too. Issiah called me today. I have no idea how he got my number! Its a bit creepy. He went out with the new girl, and friend, Moriah. She likes to be called Serena. I want a nickname like that, but I'm stuck with the nickname "Speedbump". It's really retarded how I managed a nickname like that, I'll explain at a later entry.

May 20 2006
I hate Anothony and Chelsie. How dare he! How Dare she! I mean... well... I love Anothony. Chelsie knows it. And they're going out now. Oh, and Anothony - b****** - said something along the lines of "I don't want to hurt our friendship by going out. Middle school relationships always end in a big stupid fight. You mean too much to me as a friend for us to do that." I know he was trying to be freakin sensitive, but. He said s*** that he had a really funny practical joke. Yeah, as I am crying while writing this, a real funny practical joke. Oh yeah, and Jessica and Lisa knew. I probably could have handled the betrayal if he had the balls to say this to me in person that he liked Chelsie. But no! He had to be a f****** chicken! And he calls himself my friend! Oh, and Chelsie - b****- knows I love him. She knows. And they had the c**k to say. "We'll break up if you don't want us to go out." Yeah, like I would say that to my two best.... people who acted like my two best friends.. friends! And to add insult to injury, they were saying s*** along the lines of, "C'mon Danielle! Be happy!" or, "Don't cry. I don't like that. You're making me start to cry." Sure, yeah, right, whatever. ANd they talked the
entire three hours about themselves and sang together. Chelsie doesn't even have a good singing voice. I'm too hurt to write anymore.... b******s...


July 5 2006
I am sorry that I have not had a chance to write in my online journal in ages.
I am getting my driving permit in twenty five, oh wait the clock just switched to AM now, so twenty four more days... weird...
Yeah, I am still pissed at Anthony and Chelsie, but I've learned that all men, even the young immature teens, are selfish immature b******s. And Chelsie is a selfish Benadict Arnold swine. I mean, anyone who will console you when you cry because of someone who loved died then completely betray your confidence is someone who you can not trust. Life is so not fair.
I am also bummed out about the fact I didn't make the cast for CATS. I really wanted to be in it. I could do stage crew I guess... but its not the same.
Oh yeah, I'm not anemic, my nickname is Speedbump because my foot got ran over at a Titations car wash and Blake called me that and I responded, I once borrowed Issaih's cellphone to call home and he memorised it, I am over men for the rest of the year I hope to God - except Orlando Bloom - PIRATES R SEXY! There I think I tied up most of the loose ends from the other entries.
And... we had to put our precious Chilia baby down. I loved Chilia, but we've almost had to put Chilia down so many other times that I had cried myself out for her. It wasn't her fault. Her mother's owner's shouldn't have bred her. ANd there was nothing anyone could do. She was still aggressive even with the heavy duty tranquilzers. SOmetimes I wish my life was a dream and I would wake up on the first day of third grade and change everything with the knowledge I know now. Life may have turned out better. I may not have wasted my life away with Salonee, cried over Dylan and Anthony until I nearly became sick, and stuck with sports and got into acting earlier, kept contact with my old friends. Perhaps My life would've been better off that way.

August 8 2006
Chelsie and Anthony broke up this summer, like I always deep down knew. Si, I suppose we're cool. The play Music Man was quite fun. I made a great new friend, Cody! He is so awesome... he is like a brother... except I wouldn't tell him my deepest secrets or nothing. Ah, I don't know why I was so upset about Chelsie and Anthony... maybe in time my head will understand what my heart thought was true...
Me outie!

February 8 2007
Holy s***! I haven't written in such a long time... sheesh... well here goes nothing... Chelsie and I are the bestest friends ever, no lie! I have Dylan back in my life for I was cast in And Then They Came For Me, a dramatic reflection of the Holocaust survivors and Anne Frank, before the Diary. Anthony is like an annoying little brother. I am now into anime! I am the biggest Wierd Al Yankovic fan, cuz I am so white and nerdy! Dylan, curse him and bless him, got me into Monty Python... I shalnt ever be the same. *big grin and laughes insanely* I stage crewed for Cats, and it was very fun. I have set up a system I have in the Theatre. Act in a play, watch a play, crew a play, repeat. It works, for I am not in Suessical... I didn't realize that I could be in both ATTCFM and that... grr...
Oh, I was in the Central swim team, I had fun, and I made a best friend, Emily Young! She is awesome! And... I had my first experiance with a guy liking me for no reason and really wanted me... His name was Austin... he sat by me at all the swim meets, during the diving segments.... he tried to touch me.... I sorta freaked out and then... he kissed my shoulder... or rather... made out with it... He would stare at me constantly wherever I would go... Now he has a girlfriend, a whore, and I have a theory about it : He wanted from me what I wouldn't give freely, so he found himself a whore to love. He had to go for something less than what he wanted... I was starting to like him, and I thought that I would become all sad and weepy, like over Dylan and Anthony... but I didn't... I may have matured... or my brain now has more say in what my heart feels... I haven't really fallen for any guys lately... which is good... And... I now know why I was so sad and angry over the whole Anthony thing... I wanted someone, anyone, to replace the gaping hole in my heart that Dylan left when he and Nicole broke my heart... I became angry for it was like to my heart being torn again when I found something that made me feel good about, like I wasn't really hurt, I didn't let myself heal over Dylan...
I have now dropped the majority of my resentment to Salonee... but part of me doesn't want to forget the sorrow and s**t she put me through.....
And on a brighter note, I have tried out for a solo in Choir, leading me to getting into a good show choir later in my high school career.
And I am in love with an awesomely ful awesomeful new TV show. It is called Heroes! I love it! Peter Petrelli is so hott!
Oh, I have a Gaia account. Ah... I am in Spanish, and it is so fun! I love learning languages! I find it easy and facsinating! I am in Drama club. I plan to go to CSU: california state university: Monteray Bay, home of the Otters! That means, senior year, regardless of whether we move because of dad losing his job, I have to go to california. Oh, I don't have my driver's permit yet, cause my mom didn't realize that I can get my permit two months after I turned 15... and it has been over half a year! My friend Dylan, when I told him all this, said, "But, you don't have to wait half a ... yeah, I know, it really sucks, but the wait is worth it." I think I will murder him.... I really think I will murder my dear buddy. I will I will.
Vivi is one of my bestest buddies! She basically is the one who got me into anime... I love my Vivi... she is being a chicken and could be missing out on the greatest guy she could ever have... oh, if only she could learn from my mistake of not taking the preogative... perchance then she would act upon her feelings...
And my Lia... she is gone... moved to North Carolina... I have lost contact with her... I am a horrible person! I was her only true friend, and now I basically abandoned her! I hate myself for that...........I wish I could just fix that stupid mistake... If only I actually did things within a certain time frame of when I say crap...
Well, my hand, she hurts!


February 9, 2007
God... I wrote alot yesterday...oh well, that is what I get for not writing constantly...
Today we got the results for next years choirs. I made Sensations, which isn't bad. I really am not the most comfortable person with partners, so perhaps swing isn't for me afterall... sigh... And it will be the first year I will be in a choir without my Lisalee... we've always been in choir together... I have always been that person who can keep up with her in the vocal department, and keep the other sopranos from being swamped... it will be very odd...I wish I could have gone to state to cheer on our girls team... what a tragity... yes I am aware I mispelled that word, but I am so very tired... but it isn't even 6:30 yet! All that swimming, getting up early and such had caused fatigue, but it wasn't affecting me until last week. Can you believe I fell asleep last Friday before 6:00 and slept for 14 hours! That is over half a day! Unbelievable! Grr... I can't figure out how to fix my iTunes account/authorize my computer for it. It is driving me insane! Urg! I miss my Lia... she called me yesterday before I went with my conformation sponcer, Deb, to volunteer at FIrst Choice for Women. She thinks her parents are getting a divorce, she is now a cutter/emo... We were talking for about 15 minutes, and I almost cried... she sounds so sad! I shed a tear now thinking about it... *begins to spring a leak from left eye*Well, now I really feel like passing out!

March 24, 2007
I have had fun over the past month. My ex-stalker has had his fun *cough* with Amanda, his little girlwhore. I find it rather interesting how the whole thing has played out. Quite funny. Well, I have become really good friends with Katie, and in the files at Civic, she is basically my sister. She's put down with my last name. Tee hee! At our cast party for The Anne Frank Project, I was one of the few people who stayed the whole time... My Eva and "Actor 4" made plans to go streaking... and they asked me to join! Aye aye aye... No thanks... And this is the third, or second (I've lost count), show I have been in where I have been told that I should go out with Dylan. By different people, for the same reason. We just... well you guys are cute and click.... wow... and you're telling me this as I have tried to stay away from falling for some one for the past year... great advice.... and... if he ever did, or does, feel something, he'd never say it. He may be the cockiest thing alive, but, he's never asked out a girl... ever... well except twice, maybe... Nicole and Dylan's stories differ greatly. Ugh... and I got to miss the last day before break... it is pointless to go to school when you have missed out on the first six hours. *giggle* And I hate being sick.... grr... My choir concert was a beautiful diaster. I fell off the top platform, narrowly missing crashing into the floor... I could have died... and the laughter I heard well, I know that was because of my fall.... oh well! My lifeguarding lessons will start next week... I am very nervous...
And I still can't believe that I was wrong about two facts about Dylan:
One: In the entire middle school and high school, there is the grand total of 12 kids! Two: His "two year relationship" with the whore Tiffany, actually was one of his longest relationships of 10 months... Boy do I never get my facts straight...

April 3, 2007.
I believe this is a new record! I wrote withing a month of my last entry.
I am now a lifeguard... I feel pretty good about that. In my class (of which out of the four people there, I was the only girl *score*). I made friends with the one boy. Jake. He is pretty cool. He makes his own musice, is Catholic, a freshman (that is a new one for me someone in my grade level), loves computers, water and we are freakishly alike. I know he is devolping a crush on me... but... what am I thinking... I always get hurt... And he is a great guy. Well, anyways, I now have a Yahoo! account. It is pretty nifty! I think that I am falling for him. He needs some vocals for his band, and apparetnly, none of his friends can sing. I feel mildly obligated to offer my musical talents... but... his songs are random, yet funny! I like them!
And everyone keeps telling me I should go out with Dylan. Quote my Chelsie ~ "You guys are meant to be together! It's fate!" He's burned me once! Dear god! I Would just love it if he could stop flirting with everything under the sun and come clean with any feelings he may harbor for me, or anyone else he knows! That would be nice to get this sorted out once and for all!
Gir!

April 24, 2007.
I don't believe it... I actually told Jake I liked him... I already knew that he liked me, but I wanted him, I wanted him so badly, to tell me. I told him and I wasn't hurt in the process! I feel so happy! This is what love, or at least the knowlege that someone likes you back, in a strong way, feels like! I feel so loved! We both are geeks (geeks are cool nerds ^___^)! He has me hooked on Guildwars. He didn't know how to tell me his feelings... so he asked me and I was goose-walking (whatever that is) And... I am moving... I don't want to move! To the boondocks around Layfayette! NOOOO! I can't leave my chelsie! NOOOOO! or jake.... sniff... I can't leave now! ANd Since I am now a lifeguard, I am getting a job at the downtown YMCA. I am very happy! Back to Jake.... he invited me bowling, just the two of us two weeks ago... I didn't think anything of it... but apparently it was a date. We went as friends... though I may have been the only person to know the other liked the other and they liked them back... Poor Jake was so oblivious! He was afraid to sound like a jerk or like an idiot... so he asked me questions... thank God I was able to ask my question.... He didn't think I liked him... He was so afraid of me laughing in his face... I would know how that would feel. Not fun...
I am crewing

April 27, 2007
Okay, leaving off. I am crewing for Seussical. It is pretty good. I am working the spotlight. It is rather fun... but I am not all that great. I am going to dinner and church with Jake on Sunday.... I can't wait! He also wanted me to go sailing... but I can't tragically.. I wanted to so badly... I think I am seriously falling for him... and I don't know if he realizes that... I am worried.... if I move... what will become of us... oh well...I may try to sneak him into the theatre with me on Sunday... that may not end well... oh boy... I am the little redhaired girl in You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown. It is a fun show.. but others aren't having fun.. because of Katie... I can't see how people just can't get along... it makes me ever so sad...
Love.. boy I am tired.


May 23, 2007
Seus was pretty amazing. I had so much fun with it! Jake came to see it (and no, I didn't sneak him in.. my mom paid for his ticket!) ... he gave up sailing to come see me! And I wasn't even on stage! I feel ever so loved! Yeah... and my adoptive sister was in Seussical! Her name is Alicia! I love her to pieces! I am her imoto (Japanese for Big Sister) and she is my imoto (I think that means Little Sister). I also adopted Mari! I love her to death! They are my imoto (in Japanese, words mean singular and plural) and I am their Omni-chan.
One of the crew boys (Devon, Freshman) hit on me. His little crush was cute, and made me realize I have more drawing power than I thought. Guys in my grade have known me far too long for me to be an interest to them.. But I really don't care! I <3 Jake! And I'm not afraid to admit it! Jake came to my Confirmation... not even my best friends would have done that for me... And no one really understands how much that meant for me.. We talk constantly, Jake and I. Thank God I get free minutes after 9 or I would be ever so in trouble. I'm taking him to the movies on Friday, we are going to see Pirates of the Carribean. It will be fun!
I have pictures of him and I... and he had been putting bunny ears on me, so to actually get a nice picture, I grabbed his arm and pinned to my waist with my arm... He was a bit freaked out (mainly because it was infront of my mom), but he didn't pull his arm back... Tee hee! Oh, we talk about everything.... about sex & sexuality and its contorversy, religion, people, music, kissing, stories, our day, ourselves... guildwars, our computers, his programming... oops... sorry, started to babble there... Gosh... Oh, you might find this funny, I sorta daydream, a lot, but not about Jake, my stories, and anyhoo, I look at my pants, and POOF! Jake's name it there! And it happened several times... rather embarressing actually.. all my friends were like, aww! How cute! And, I didn't tell him, but my sister did... grr.. and he didn't believe either her or my self... So when he came to see You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown, I wore my pants.. he found it quite hilarious.. (when he came to see the play, all my friends told me how cute we are!).. so did my dear friend Hailey.. then she asked if she could borrow a pen.. I didn't think about it so I said sure! And then she started to write on my butt! Ahh! Well.. I knew she knew she couldn't write anything inapproriate, so I didn't really care... until Jake saw what it read... Wanna guess? SHE WROTE, "JAKE'S PROPERTY!" I almost died of Horror, and Jake almost died of Laughter, mixed with Horror. Quite hilarious don't you think? And it wouldn't wash out... so I had to bring it to my mom for help... she didn't get horribly mad, but I wouldn't let her be in a closed room with only Hailey.... ANd she got it out...
Well... I be very tired of writing

May 30, 2007
Wow.. a lot has happened since my last entry... I went to see Pirates of the Carribean: At the World's End with Jake. That was a freakin' awesome movie! I had so much fun... We went together to the 9:50 show.. I didn't realize that the show was 3 hours... I still can't believe I was out with him til 1 am... He is a dork, really! I paid for the tickets, and he bought the drinks and popcorn... He usually goes through 4 of the mega-tubs drenched in butter and salt. He claims to go through 1 million calories during a movie.. he has the freaking metabolism of a mouse... he won't gain a pound... Oh well... Anyhoo, during the extremally long previews, he was starting to do, I guess, the arm/yawn thing, but I beat him to it. I laid on his shoulder for the whole movie... My gosh it hurts like crazy! I can't believe girls put up with it! Me? Oh, I have an excuse, I've never done it before... tee hee... anyways, during the preview for Transformers (which looks amazing!) Jake kissed me on my forehead! He must have thought I was scared due to all the explosions (no way!)! For a moment, I was confused... then I realized what he did... and I liked it! Hee hee... ^_^.. and throughout the movie, he kissed me on the cheek or forehead whenever there was a kissing scene of something that could be scary (or he hugged me tighter, for we hugged for the whole movie {and that was really fun}) And I kissed him back, on the cheek (though I may have missed and kissed him on either the ear or neck) a few times. I had a lovely time.. and apparently I have a cold nose. When he was going to kiss me on the cheek, my nose brushed against his cheek, so he said, "Dang! Your nose is freezing!" I didn't know I have a cold nose... I'm really not sure, but he might have tried to give me a "real" kiss (which apparently is on the lips, nothing else counts) but I didn't catch on.. Oh well! And that Saturday, we went to his Church together. He had work on Sunday, so went on Saturday instead, but we thought his parents were going to go with us.. they didn't which confused me... and during the majority of the mass, we held hands. I love holding hands! It is so fun! Behind us, there was this little girl, around 8 months, who made the pthptht! noise the whole mass, and behind her an 18 month old clapped their hands the whole mass. It was so adorable! I told Jake I love kids, he said, I can tell. Then I may have said something that could be interpretted wrongly, but I said, "I want, like, a bajillion kids." He had the most confused expression on his face.. well queer expression.. I'm still not too sure what he meant by that look. He claims he was laughing on the inside that i would say something like that, out-loud... and to him... And I went to Halteman's to see him in action as a lifeguard... people in his class were bugging us, asking who I was, how long we've been going out (almost 2 months if you want to get technical) and all that jazz.. it is so annoying... And I am afraid I am getting obsessive, so I am cutting back talking about him. He broke up with his last girlfriend because she became really obsessive.. stalkerish.. My friends may be getting tired of hearing it, so I am behaving... I didn't babble about him all day, I am very proud of myself.
I have three more days of school! Yay.. and I have to go to the graduation ceremony as a choir student. I may cry, I will miss my senior friends... and my other friends... But I promised myself I won't cry. And I will hold to it. Finals are so yucky! I hate them so! I had my Biology final today, I think I did good. My Spanish and Alegebra finals are on Friday. English final is on Monday.. I need to read my book. Contact, so it wont be that hard. ANd my Gym final was today. We had to run a mile under 12 minutes.. I am not a runner, and I felt like I would get sick if I kept running... goodness... But I passed... Yay! And my new guildwars account is Beans32 Well.. I will be getting off now.

June 12, 2007
Jake is a dork, but he is my dork and a cute one. I love him so. We went sailing a few days back. There is where I recieved my real first kiss. We were behind the sail, cause we don't know how his parents would react. Oh, the boat is one of the dinky little sailing boats, holds four tops in a cramped little space. The perfect baot for two. Tee hee! My friends all tell me that i am so cute when I talk about him... I am afraid I will turn into one of those girls who forget who they are and only care about their boyfriend.... but I've already mentioned that so.. ok... Well.. school is finally out... I went to the graduation.. we were told we had to stay quiet, but nobody listened to that. My senior friends were happy that people cheered for them.. One told me, "I thought I recognized your duecelet tone." I really doubt I spelled that word right, and I doubt she used that word correctly.. Sigh..
So far my days have consisted of gardening, packing boxes, and playing Final Fantasy XII. I had it almost completed then I stupidly started a new one and accidentally saved over my nearly complete game.. I cried... and I really don't remember how I got that far.. oh well... Did you know that graffiti isn't a new thing vandals do these days? People in ancient Pompeii did it, Greece.. they are hilarious.. One of the ones I read stated, "In Nuceria, near Porta Romana, is the district of Venus. Ask for Novellia Primigenia." Advertisement for Ancient Hookers. Another one, "Hullo, we're wineskins." "Whoever loves, goes to hell. I want to break Venus' ribs with blows and deform her hips. If she can break my tender heart, why can't I hit her over the head." I love these! I get random points for the day. I need to stop reading my random books.
Well.. I am sick of writing, so buh bye!