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Well... it is late at night and almost the 26th, my 18th birth day will be in three days from then. In most cases your b-day is supposed to be a happy occasion, where as I am slightly happy to be turning 18 I am also beyond depressed about it also. The majority of the people I "want" to go to my party aren't going to show because that is how it is every year. The ones that can go will probably forget to come because this happens every year also... so basically I am going to have the same b-day that I do every year. It'll be dull and lifeless as it usually is and full of people I would rather kill than be around. The fact that I will be turning 18 makes no difference to me... just another day closer to death followed by another year of almost absolute boredom. Some times I feel it's not even worth inviting people to my b-day because they never show anyways and after the party when I talk to them again they apologize and give me some bull s**t sob story about how they couldn't come because someone did this and they had to go here.
I think this year is going to be a little different.... I told all the people that are "supposed" to come, not to bring me anything for my b-day. I also plan to tell everyone in my family to go to hell and tell them not to hand me the phone to get the whole "happy b-day" s**t I always get from my grand parents. I think I'll just spend the entire day lying in bed contempating the meaning to my life instead of doing anything. I'll come out only to eat my cake and tell everyone to piss off, other than that I will be having the whole day to myself. There are going to be a few people that aren't going to be ignored though... my brother for one (I havn't seen him since he came back for christmas break from college) and a couple others that I don't plan to mention here. I'm sure you know who you are.... if you don't then shame on you, by now you think you would have caught on.
On a lighter note, I'm getting off of probation on my birthday as well... for those of you that knew me before I was on probation, be prepared to see the old me back. I still remember those days... I was completely care free and always had a good attitude towards life. People would piss me off and I would let it slide by "relaxing" at home with my best friend buddah. wink The only true regret I have about getting put on probation in the first place is not being able to hang out with buddah any more, losing tin-man, and also losing nirvana. The three greatest things in my life at the time... all taken away because my dad has some sort of unknown grudge towards me. Oh well... after the 29th I'll be back at it with so much enthusiasm that it may scare some of my new friends. lol

To those of you I invited to my b-day that don't show up, [******** YOU!! I never plan to hang out with you again and I hope you die a very slow and painful death carried out by a mob of angry fat albino french men! You have a problem with me saying that? You had something else to do? SO WHAT!? You never showed up any way...

To the rest of you that I "didn't" invite to my b-day or are too far away to come(don't ask stare ), I didn't invite you for a reason... I didn't feel like being let down by my newer friends nor did I want to have to blow you off on your b-day in return.