I saw what I have been searching for there before my eyes,
It all seemed so real,
Then I reached for it- it was gone. That which I had been searching for had yet again faded away,
Leaving me empty. Jealousy isn't something I agree with, yet there I was jealous of what I saw-jealous of one of my truest friends. I felt as though I were being taunted, that that dream will never come true. Even I am starting to believe that and the results are becoming more obvious.
I am starting to be seen as one of the insane. I have always been seen as one of the abnormal, but now I find myself alone more, lonely more. Turning to the sounds of my own voice for company.
Right now I am depressed, hollow inside. My eyes are weary, and my heart aching, for I feel I will never have the one dream I want the most.
-Melissa
The dream I want the Most
A man who loves me and calls me his wife-who isn't ashamed of me no matter my appearence and loves me for my heart, which he shall have.
A family. A great relationship with the man and the sound of laughing children as their father plays with them and I watch them smiling, knowing that they are my own.
I feel it will never come true. I feel I will never know that love of a dear man or children.
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My Daily Thoughts
A journal of my thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams, secrets and dispairs.