Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Sorry, to those that watch my journal regularly or sometimes a few times and not quite that much at all. I've been pretty much a lurker to Gaia as of late. I've been pretty much preoccupied with real life as to I have no choice now. I've been busying myself as a reliable babysitter from Monday to Saturday from 6 am to 7 pm and everyday I've seem to exhaust myself to sleep and not check too much in Guilds, Threads and, of course, journals. So basically this is my update as to what I'd be doing for the next few weeks until my start of post-secondary education.

The Anime North Convention went pretty well except the fact that I could not stay for all three days. My mother thought it was a waste of time and forbid me to go on that day and took my key so that I was basically stuck no matter which way i looked at this. Other than that, i had a great time looking for art and making friends and hanging out. I've seen my ototo(er... correct term would me imoto but she wouldn't allow me to say it so that just stuck) coming out of her shell and becoming more friendly with others without looking extremely creepy(how we first met but that's another story). And I mean this all in a very playful happy way and not negative.

I've noticed a lot of people changing around me, which makes me happy and yet sad at the same time. I feel as though my memories of those times on gaia and in my offline life so fleeting and wispy. I wish i could contain them and look at them from time to time.. but that's what writing them down is for right? Too bad for me my memory is underpar to remember all that.

I'm excited for CNAnime 2007 this year as seeing Gaia being there this year. I hope there will be a big turn out for it. So exciting. I think I'll just help out with a friend and lurk around and stuff. But for the most part I hope it'll be fun and just as thrilling as Anime North.

I've lost something extremely precious to me.. my sketchbook. Though I'm pretty sure that many of you don't quite understand why it holds so much sentimentality to me, it does. Unlike those that remember every detail/memory or those that could write in such a way that could grab one's attention easily.. this was my only way to remember all the good times that has happened. This was the sketchbook that holds the memories of the past 3 years of my life. School, friends, hardships; everything. So to lose it... I felt like I lose a part of myself with it... Though I am getting over it.. it bothers me that I might forget a precious memory or few later in life. My only way to trigger memories.. gone... or worse... destoryed.

I've just recently learnt of a friend that I knew few years back in gaia and died just recently. I've known that she was in an coma and prayed for quite some time in hopes for her to return.. Apparently she had not and was pronouced dead two months later after the accident. Though it was much later when the truth came out.. I do not feel angry at the friend of hers for not telling in so long. Though I do feel sad I think that this is probrably my only way to let go and move on with memories of the good times and not get angry at something that has already happened. May you rest well in pease Rokoko. I will forever miss you, old friend.

Now, though I do visit almost everyday... I don't always stay that long. Maybe there are days I stay longer than others but on average I do not. with the schedule of 13 hours of babysitting, there is no breaks inbetween in which you get at hourly paid jobs that I know of. It's always a constant move whether it be the little ones from 2-4 years of ages or thoses that are from 6-8 years and 9-12 years. I have no breaks and I have to adapt as quickly as possible with every set. Not only that there are days where some parents will do overtime and I have to care for them until late into the night. So I generally get very tired, very little sleep if those do overtime and mentally a trainwreck. I know you all out there that are my close friends in real life demand my time, yes demand that's the way i interrupt and see things this way, if I can't meet or hang out with you for some apparent reason... this is why. I am in need of sleep... ALWAYS for this summer ...maybe there will be a day or two I can meet up with you guys. However if I don't see you or get there within 30 mins or a call sometime then, it means I've fallen asleep. So do not hurt the little asian girl her okay? hehe It was not suppose to be a threat or negative. It was just meant to be a bit of warning. If it happens, don't take it out on me, it's an honest mistake.

To those on Gaia that I know, I may post a few and then disappear. It's because I'm either busy with a few set of kids or that I've fallen asleep. Since as of late it's rather been fleeting for me. So if you do see me and think it strange for not seeing me on too long, this is why. And to the question of a Gaian hiatus... I'm severely considering of taking a mini break. However, we'll have to see how I'll hold out with this schedule of babysitting in the summer.

Until next time,
Kotori