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Panda-tastic
My rants, not a life plan.
What are you waiting for?
I'm irratable as ******** right now. stare

It's hot, I'm tiered, very hungry from not eating today, and ontop of that my ******** brother won't walk down the ******** street and by my mom a gift for mothers day. stressed The store is less than 4 blocks away and he won't walk his ******** lazy a** to buy her a ******** gift.

I asked walkin home from teh bus stop like, "Ay Todd, since I got mom flowers, a card, and a bag I was wondering if you'd walk to the store and buy her a cup or something with the leftover change."

"Whats in it for me?" Was teh first thing he said. What the ******** is in it for me...how ******** up is that?! He is my moms favorite ******** kid he gets anything he asks for and whenI ask him to take his lazy ******** a** DOWN THE STREET to buy a simply ******** cup he whines about it and was like "So what?" "Gimme some money for myself or I aint going" "Who the ******** is mommy? She's nobody."

Why is every guy I know who's younger than me such a ******** a*****e!? Why?! Why?! Why?! half the ******** people are just whining little bitches because they can't let the ******** go. The other half is just to ******** immature to even see straight stare I HATE TEENAGE BOYS GROW THE ******** UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...just...so fed up with other peoples s**t. I mean, I'm still happy and everything but this bull s**t really needs to calm down. I don't have the patience for things I shouldnt' have to deal with. This is unnessasary god damn it.

...Anyway, school was great today. whee I mean, I started to zone out during 7th and 8th period, but other than that the day was perfect. whee heart

At the Career Center Brad FINALLY gave me the CD's I needed for VX guild updateness whee i can't wait till Skilled finish's the template for me redface Skilled is the greatest... heart

Oh~and at the Career Center we didn't have to do work. whee I watched the bizarre vidoes of Gwen Stefani most of the day and joked with my friends, whee I heart my IRL friends~ heart They're like...the best....ever. Brad was gunna transfer my pictures off my phone onto the computer via cable thingie but I called him a girl and he got mad and shiz xd so I spent teh day trying to con him into it...which worked, wink He has to do it on monday, though~the teach got mad cause we were goofing off sad

...come to think of it... xd I goofed off all day today. It was sooooo much fun! heart

My Chemistry teach was out today 'cause her daighter wanted to take her out for mothers day, so we had this funny little sub man. xd He looked like the one guy I saw in teh gay asian porn playin with himself xd So rocksness whee I sold pencils to my stupid friends who didnt' bring supplies and made a dollar which I used to spend on the flowers for my mom whee Travis picked them out for me since I made him buy them for me...the man who was selling this always looks at me mean for some reason sweatdrop

...damn I loved today. whee heart Lots of otehr stuff happened, which I don't have teh energy to get into right now. I'ma sleep most of today off...>_> I think all this stress is from sleep depervation.

My friend Dee was chillin with me today in Digital Photography class. Hangin with her reminded me of that talk we had a few days ago that clicked back into my head just now.... 3nodding She's real mean to hr boyfriends >_> She's abusive as hell and always hittin someone and she's heavy handed and kinda big so it hurts when she hits sad She throw stuff at her boyfriend and always got the guys she's with on lockdown...She was tellin me about her current guy who's like 30 something. She runs his money, his cars, his friggin life....amazing how one girl can hold so much power over an older man. I wonder how she does it....anyway, she's way worse than I am with guys. She just doesn't hang online 'cause she's always partyin with Amber and them girlies who I don't talk to no mores 3nodding (Don't talk cause I am done partying, sillyhead wink heart ) If you read our convo, keep inmind Dee is ghetto and black, so what she said is not all mean or wrong just how ghetto people talk. xd So Dee was like,

"So how are things with you and that jerk--I mean, Josh guy."

"Dead."

"What ju mean?"

"Over with."

"Dumped you again? You need some better *****'s gurl."

"He didn't. And he's not black so no ***** callin biznatch."

"(laughs) Leave dim white boys alone. Get an older one."

"Not white. I don't think he was. Older isn't cool chick."

"What da hell was he then? Albino?"

"Don't know, don't care."

"Whats yo problem?"

"None."

"Then why aint ju talkin or happy and other Courtney like s**t."

"I am talking, I would prefer not to talk about him is all."

"Why?"

"He's dead to me."

"Aww s**t girl you didnt' kill him did you?!"

"(laughs) No. Just...as far as I am concerned he no longer exists."

"What da ********? What happened? You was cryin over da ***** last time I checked."

"Not worth my tears; like the song by Mary J Bleigh."

"Why you dump him?"

"Wasn't going anywhere."

"Then why did you ******** up your arm and cry if he didn't matter?"


As I zoned out, I thoughnt about what she said. Dee is kinda insightful I guess...she says things I don't think about alot. Yea, now Josh is dead to me easpecially after that attempt at revenge (whatever you would call his actions), I just wish he wouldn't talk to me anymore. Respect my ******** wishs for gods sake...we're nto together, I'm not your friend, so why not just go away? You have tennis, school, and an (unlucky) new girlfriend to contend with, just be bothered with that and not with me. Don't talk to me. Ever. I don't care if your dieing, it doesn't matter. It did once upon a time, but not anymore. You think you were the best thing to ever happen to me and your not, you never were. You and Shadow are both the same, thinking you were so good to me. Hey, if you were actually so ******** good...then why aint I bent over you now? Why didn't I respond to your "good deeds" in the way you wished? ...becayse, child, they were'nt good. Your warped ******** up little kid mind thought you were my prince charming, my knight in shinign armor who did everything for me. You didn't. You did things that you thought were right, they weren't. Maybe when you get older you'll understand. I wasn't good to you, you weren't good to me, and thats what made the realtionship immature. I'm growing up, no time to play games with the children anymore. 3nodding I don't want you to die, or harm to come to you, just leave me alone. Its all I ask. It what I have been saying since March. Go away. You drove this on, this is all your fault. Well...no, its my fault to for that plann I mentioned in the update to the last entry backfiring like it did...but oh well. Only thing I have to applogize for is the entire lie about Greg. Like I said last entry, Greg wsa over back in August; I just kept him alive because it seemed to protect me. It caused more harm than anything, so I give up now. You see, Shadow never had a reason to hate me and neither does Josh...besides my mood swings and occuring bitchness. Thanks to Isaac, I'm outta that though. Yay for me~! 4laugh heart Only time I swing is when I'm tiered, and now I just go to sleep when I am like I will after this entry.

Chris...need to write my Onii-san a letter. whee I miss writing to him...its been to long of a gap since last talkness. I need to get a calling card so he wont' be so silly and friggin talk to me! I wonder if he heard my voice clip thingie...maybe I should ask? I dunno...I'm shy to... redface

Hmm...this thing on RO with that b***h messaging VX and saying I can't be trusted is still bothering me. I just can;t believe someone would attempt ot hurt me like that. Thats my guild, they know me, love me, and trust me. A failed attempt..so pathetic. I bet they're reading here now, too. Hey b***h, yes you who PMed VX on RO! If you really wanna hurt me, why don't you try to get Izzy to break up with me? See how that works for you. That would hurt sooooo much....

Teh, rolleyes Good luck with that s**t. xd 'cause...oh me! Oh my! Isaac knows, trusts, and loves me too D: To bad for yooooou~! blaugh xd

People seem to be getting idea's on how to hurt me from my journal. 3nodding Sucks that your so ******** stupid that you can't see this net s**t doesn't phase me. I mean, you ******** with me IRL maybe I'll concider you a threat...but your a pathetic loser who live off the internet...what have I to fear? Nothing. heart domokun

I messaged Kevin last night. I'm really worried >_> ...I know what he's up to, I'm kinda sad he's stoop back to the levels of before...but I can't stop everyone, sad I just keep prayin the kid is alright...

Eh...I'm not sleepy anymore. sad Maybe nap later...I dunno. all I know, is I feel happy again so I'm going to run outside and exploit that to the fullest extent. xd






 
 
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