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I've been trying to figure out something... Exactally who am I??? I really didn't know... I thought I did... But I didn't know EVERYTHING... I am starting to find... That I'm more of everything than I origianally thought... I've been acting differently than how I used to act... The way I talk... The way I think... It seems compleatly new to me... But it isn't... It's hard to explain... But it's like... I've always been like this... But I just haven't shown this side of me this much before... But either way... I really like it...

I used to either be somewhat happy or EMO... But now I'm happy, sad, lonely, hyper, mad, scared, serious, and a bunch of other emotions that I locked away so that I didn't get hurt... Well... I'll end up being hurt either way... So I say... What the heck... Why should I be EMO??? Well yah... I know I can NEVER stop being EMO... It's just a feeling... A feeling that I can't get rid of... So I'll just live life for me from now on... Even though for me... Basically means for others as well... Since I love too much... But I like that... Even though it's basically killing me on the inside...

I've already been through enough... I'm going to watch out for myself... If I find someone that I feel safe around... That I feel like I can really trust... Then if something happens... I won't let them go... I don't want 4 years to go by, and I end up thinking our whole friendship was just a lie... I can't do that again... Lolz... I want to meet someone just like Hitachiin Hikaru... That would be so awsome!!!

I'm going to try to act differently at school... 'Cause for some reason... I feel like I act different at school then I do at home... Well I always will since at school there are people my age... And at home there is only my Mom... My brothers... And my dad... And I really really REALLY don't like my brothers or my dad... That reminds me... I had a REALLY scary dream last night... And I don't get afraid to easily... (I have been more though... I've been way more sensitive and my emotions are stronger than before) Anyways... I'm not gonna type down what happened... But it was about my dad... I DIDN'T LIKE IT!!! I hope I don't have another dream like that tonight... >.<

Devon was also in my dream for about 8 minutes I think... But I can't remember what happened... But I remember I was about to cry... Unfortunatly... In my dreams... I almost always feel everything that happens... And that's not a good thing for my dreams... And I wake up sore sometimes... And it half of the time has to do with what happened in my dream... CREEPY!!! >.< Lolz...

Okay... Uhhh... I'm supposed to be talking about the new me... Uhhh... I dunno... Uhhh... I figured out that I'm more needy... Yah... I guess that's how I can put it... Or lonely maybe??? I dunno... But I despreatly want someone who I can compleaty confide in... Someone who I can feel safe and happy around... I found out... That I need people to be able to understand me... And who actually cares about me... Unlike ALOT of people that I've talked to in the past... Or people that I still do talk to... There's still more to it... But I just don't know how to explain it... </3

Uhhh... I LOVE OURAN HIGH SCHOOL!!! Lolz... Sorry... But that's all I really wanna talk about right now... I LOVE that anime!!! Especially my Hika-Chan... He's gonna be like... Uhhh... How would I put that... My consionce maybe??? I dunno... I just hope to meet someone like him in real life... Probrably 'cause I can definatly relate to the character... And I could definatly get along with him!!! ^^

Oh yah!!! That reminds me!!! I was sorta wathing and episode or Ouran High School on gofish.com... But I paused it sos that I can put in a journal entry... And I think It's been like at least 20 minutes by now... @.@ Lolz... Well... I guess I better stop then... ^^

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