the mask i wear, it doesnt fit me.
i try so hard to force it on when this time comes around.
it doesnt work.
pressure is useless and resistance to acknowledge the obvious is useless.
i was once this hollowed shell with only a mind, a beating, broken heart and a voice to say what i couldn't feel and not how i felt.
now, i am nearly whole, sophisticated beyond my years, and i say what i want, when i want, how i want, but only tot hose i feel i can trust.
my trust has been worn thin, but little by little, its returning.
slowly i can feel the color in my face returning to normal.
yes, i have been crying and no, i do not deny i have more headaches than a few.
call me a drug addict cause that 600mg pill is my new friend.
you are my anti-drug.
when i say you are everywhere, i do not exaggerate.
you really are.
you haunt me in my dream adn in my mind.
when i want you out you force your way in.
i love it.
you alone can see my mask.
only you know why i cry now, everyday with every passing hour.....
even now while i type.....
and even with my trust in you and no one else in this fact, i continue to wear this mask.
i know on the other side there is a dark, ugly, fragile creature on the other side....
its called the old me.
this mask has kept me safe for so long.
this month is not my friend.
you are tearing my armor away and this is the last to go....
you steal my heart,....my mind,...and now my expressions....
what goes on my face, you shall see.
i will no longer, no matter how much i hate it, hide my tears or frustration from you.
you dont deserve that.
you hide nothing from me.
i will return the favor.
i have removed the mask and now you can see my reddened, hurting, bleeding and crying face while i weep...
i am sad, but happy.
the mask is gone.
there is nothing to hide.
there is nothing left of me not to show you.
there is nothing i do not want you to ever see.
i want you to see all of me.
get to know me....better at least.
when i come to you from now, know this is me.
Me, not matter the emotion. Still Me...
enjoy, love, and bring me happiness and in return, for you my sweet sacchurine, o angel of mine *giggle* i will keep that mask hidden for all eternity and do the same....
roxas.
p.s. thank you for being there. know that even though i dont say it quite enough and im so coy about admitting it...i pray for you a lot, kuba. i want us to continue to make each grow..."ill push you as long as you push me back."
Fauna Doe Community Member 
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