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i feel so stuoid. Before they left I told myslef that i won't be alone like i was the last they all went when we didn't. I thought i'd have everyone here... but i guess i was wrong. Sarah's leavin sunday and it's hard talkin to everyone else.. it feels loneli. and on top of tht my mother is makin every minute of my life miserable. I have no freedom at all. I can't be on. if i am she keeps on callin me downstairs. I can't go to anyone's house or call anyone over.... so all i do is sit on this chair and talk to myslef. I think about things I haven't thought about in a longg time. Today's just teh first day they're gone. They just left a couple of hours ago and i alredaii feel emptiness inside me. i thought everything would be okay and i hjad everything figured out but life just doesn't seem to follow my plan. My parents don't let me go with my cousins and then they also don't let me hang out with kid on teh street or go over to anyone's house and then my mother wants me to tell her i love her??!! wth?? i can understand trying to prtect your child. but i'm not stupid. It's pretty easy to realize that thta can corrupt a childs head. But no one understands when u explain it to them. I got mad at my mother today and told her that she was teh reason our summer was going soo crapii and tht the past 2 summers went crapii cuz of her. She didn't even bother understndin. Instead she started cursin at me andtold me tht she'll tell my father on me. Well thst nothing new. She's always tellin my dad all the stupid things we do. She never even brings up anything good we do. I love my Father alot and hate my mother as much as i love my father. ....... sometimes i just wish i knew onlii me. So i wouldn't belet down by ppl all the time. I wish i realii was alone in this world......