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9.2.05
I had an interesting day. I spent my entire paycheck, which is quite unnerving. I feel slightly depressed because of it.
I enjoy getting lost in Orange County, bothering people while they are working, and being categorized. (I do place empathize extreme sarcasm on the last one)
Let me be the millionth person to say that being "cute" doesn't get you a date, or anything close to a boyfriend.
In all honesty, I'm actually offended.
It takes a lot to piss me off, and to weaken me. And it so happens that I have reached almost all my limitations as of late.
When I got home I tried making myself throw up because I ate too much today. The only time I actually lost weight is when Raymond left me. I want to lose more weight since it feels that everyone around me is getting better while I stand stationary.
I really have to put my foot down on things. I can't eat in public anymore, its a waste of money, unless its not fast food. Supposedly I'm not slender enough, and this sick voice in my head tells me I have to keep going till I'm at least 115-120 pounds. I think I'm back at 135 and the thought of going back to what I used to be scares me.
Though it doesn't make a difference if you think about it. No one liked me then, no one likes me now.
I'm "cute" remember, cute doesn't get dates.
I really, really hate that. With a passion. I do believe I made my annoyance known, but then again when do people actually listen to what I have to ******** say?
I say things clearly, in a clear voice and loudly too. No one listens. I scream, they tell me to shut up.
I can never win.
And what pisses me off even more than what I am ranting about is those who base everything on material possession or status.
So yeah, I'm annoyed. At a lot of things. Isn't it great?
I also find it funny that even when I'm crying on the inside, I always put on a smile around my friends. Only today did I loose my cool. It was either that or physically harming someone. I took the safer course and just walked off before crying or screaming.
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Just in case you scrolled down and decided not to read.
My day. In simple words.
Wake up.
Shower.
Andrea calling.
Getting paycheck.
Comics.
Getting April.
Going to THS.
Bugging old teachers.
Food.
Game Stop.
Food.
Dropping Jen off.
Mall.
Getting annoyed.
Naruto CDs.
Getting annoyed.
Meeting Melissa.
Going to THS so Tiffany could get her car.
Tacos.
Getting uber annoyed.
Movies.
<3 Brothers Grimm x100.
Driving to Fullerton.
A Touch of Romance.
Shot Glass that pwns.
Singing the lumberjack song.
Waiting for Jen to get off work.
Home.
Computer.
Rant.
The end.
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