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Okay well I'm too lazy to update this properly. I'm just going to write about how me and Gabby went to Value Village today and waited for her dad forever to come pick us up. Oh, but I had a party yesterday at my house while my parents were out of town. ♥ Dustin, James, Jordan, and Leigh were over, then Gabby and Tai came eventually. Tai brought delicious pizza. We played D&D and had glorious fun, and I actually paid attention this time for the majority. XD

I guess I'm back to being okay again, but I'm still confused about some things. I have to think them through and decide where they're going. -.- But I still believe in what direction I was going before - emotional detachment. Now isn't the time to let myself fall into another pit if things go immensely sour again, and they just might because... I kind of just... have a bad feeling...

I really can't let that sort of thing happen again, so... I can't let it... it's too hard ... have to pretend indifference... but I get so angry over the stupid things... shouldn't that just be a dead give-away? God I was scared today. Why did he do that? It was so ridiculously stupid and he hurt my feelings. He did apologize though... but maybe he meant some of it anyways...

I'm just going to end up like the rest of them anyways. It's like I'm walking into a bloody mine-field.

But don't I love it? ♥

... this fear is why I know it's going to be worth it...