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This is it


This is how it happened
I never really understood how someone could be so evil and full of hate
I knew you could be, but I didn’t understand why someone would want to be that way
He wanted to though
He let me know it everyday
How strong and powerful he was
How weak and stupid I was
How he could hurt me and make me do what he wanted
I never wanted to, but it was better than what would happen if I didn’t
I endured pain for so long, I didn’t know if I could keep going on
But somehow, I did
I kept going, and one day it paid off
I broke free-

This is what I dreamed
I dreamed of painless days
Painless, carefree days
Days free of worry
I dreamed I was in the most beautiful and peaceful places on earth
I was at peace, something I had never been able to experience
In all of my dreams I was wearing a long, white dress
I was graceful and one with the earth
I was an angel
A creature if light and power
I was truly happy with myself and the life I led
The life was nothing but peaceful days

This is who I loved
There was a man
He cherished life and everything in it
He lived everyday to the fullest
I wish I could have been more like him
For some strange reason, he loved me
He loved me more than life itself
I never really understood why he did
But I loved him too
He was my life
He was the reason I woke up in the morning
He truly was the bright part of my life
He was and always will be the love of my life
He showed me what a good person I could be and was already
He showed me the bright, green parts of the world
The parts people always talk about, but never appreciate
He made me want to live
He made me bloom and grow, like a gorgeous red rose that has received the first drops of morning light
Then my flower was crushed

This is what I lost
I lost everything important to me
Everything worth living for
There was nothing left
Nothing left but pain
A huge hole in my chest yearning for something that wasn’t there
I had lost myself
When I looked in the mirror I didn’t recognize the person looking back at me
The person wasn’t the young, bright, beautiful girl she was
This girl was dark, cold, and older
This girl had finally become what she was taught to hate and be afraid of
But she knew she couldn’t turn back now

This is the story I tell
I’m not the girl I used to be, that’s for sure
But I’m not the cold, dark girl either
I’m someone completely different
I’ve accepted everything and moved on the best I can
Now I tell the story
You must live life to the fullest
You must love and lose
You must endure pain
You must change
You must overcome the dark shadow of the world and find the sunlight
You must move on