Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Jeff Dunham: The drive from the valley?
Peanut: Was bad as hell!
Jeff Dunham: Traffic?
Peanut: Sucked like hell!
Jeff Dunham: Drivers?
Peanut: Angry as hell!
Jeff Dunham: And you?
Peanut: Were scared as hell!
Jeff Dunham: Parking?
Peanut: Sucked more like hell!
Jeff Dunham: So?
Peanut: We're in hell!


Jeff Dunham: You know, you don't have to do this.
Walter: Yeah, I could get a real job.
Jeff Dunham: [chuckles] What would you do.
Walter: I wanna be a greeter at Wal-Mart.
[audience laughs]
Walter: What the hell's so funny?
Jeff Dunham: At Wal-Mart, what would be your opening line?
Walter: Oh.
[clears throat]
Walter: Welcome to Wal-Mart, get your s**t and get out!
[audience laughs]
Walter: Have a nice day.


Jeff Dunham: What are you doing?
Peanut: [exaggerated Japanese accent] Oh, speaking Japanese!
Jeff Dunham: You don't know Japanese.
Peanut: Yeah, I do; Toyota.
[audience laughs]
Peanut: Oh, Godzilla!
Jeff Dunham: That's not right.
Peanut: Oh, you're right; it'd be...
[opens mouth and nothing comes out until after it closes]
Peanut: Godzilla!


and walter's favorite word: Walter: Dumbass.